Halloween is only two weeks away, which means you only have 14 more days to put together a costume that is insanely detailed and requires a jerry-rig to pull off, or something slutty for you to freeze your balls off.
But did you know that Halloween is just a front for Satanism? According to Mission America's Linda Harvey, Halloween is just a way for the gays to lure kids into homosexuality using tiny candy and store-bought Spider-Man costumes. Never mind the fact that it originally was a harvest festival lazily glazed over with the Christian holiday of All Saints' Day -- which involved praying for souls to get into heaven -- because those are facts. SATANISM! Everything makes a lot more sense when you completely disregard logic, doesn't it?
Christians don’t need to cower in fear of the demonic realm and all its mischief, nor be overly pre-occupied, but neither are we to mock and scoff and cavalierly enter Satan’s territory dismissing the danger. We are especially not to enable our children to do so. Another reason for skipping Halloween is its growing influence. It’s now the second most popular American celebration right behind Christmas, what’s driving its magnetism? Spiritual deception on a grand scale may be at work and such trends call for heightened Christian discernment. We all can see it’s a huge celebration in the LGBT world, especially for the gender-confused folks. This illustrates some of the problem. The core of Halloween is glittering artificiality, you can pretend to be someone you aren’t’ for a night, you can flirt with danger, you can divine a different destiny, but it is all void of the presence of or will of God. It’s a seduction that says, ‘don’t be afraid, do whatever you want, there’s nothing to fear,’ it’s one of Satan’s oldest tricks. (Source)
You know what Halloween is? Halloween is an excuse for kids to dress up as superheroes and beg for candy. It's a gateway drug to horror movie marathons. It's the one day of the year where you can get smashed on peach schnapps and pass out in someone's bathroom dressed as a cowboy. (Long story.) But Satanism? Go fuck yourself. If adorable kids getting tiny versions of candy is the antithesis of your religion, you're backing the wrong horse.