Say, did you hear about the Balloon Boy? Of course you did -- there was six fucking hours of it on CNN Friday, compared to the miniscule footage of the massive gay and lesbian march on Washington the Sunday before.
But in the media's quest to uncover more and more about the creepy, fame-seeking Heene family, they uncovered this Buju-Banton-worthy slab of homophobia from the Balloon siblings (around the 2:40 mark):
The Partridge Family they ain't. Since we all had to witness the boy throwing up in the middle of the TV interview his father dragged him into, it's only fair he should try to make us vomit in return.
Meanwhile, in other Terrifying True Life Tales of Modern Parenting, we have the Vancouver man who gave his four-year-son a home circumcision. He told the boy that the mutilation would grant him "extra special protection from God." But not, apparently, protection against his own father.
Based on these two examples, I think it's clear what needs to be done: we can no longer allow heterosexuals to parent children. They're clearly unfit for it. They should have their children taken away, just like so many lesbians who've proved unfit, and the laws should be stacked against them, just like they are for gay men -- even in Canada.
Gay men and lesbians are fighting for the right to parent and teach the children whose upbringing by straight people has left them damaged yet we get nothing but abuse. Personally, I wonder why we bother -- the only contact I've ever wanted from children is to have them cutely lead me through art museums:
Kevin Jennings is a gay author and educator appointed by the White House as its "safe schools czar" to oversee national anti-bullying campaigns. The religious right wants him fired because he insists that homosexual parents are equal to heterosexual ones. For this, The Washington Times insists:
"Mr. Jennings' bizarre sexual agenda for American grade schools is one reason the president should dump this dangerous radical."
That's right -- getting the Heene kids to quit beating up "faggots" is now a "bizarre sexual agenda." For a terrifying vision of this radical ideology, check out the two dads in this TV ad fighting for equal marriage equality in Maine:
If that lovely woman gets her way, those men will soon be free to raise their child in a family like any other -- teaching him not to be a pussy and mutilating his genitals.