Thursday, Nov 17
Eastside Culture Crawl
You may think East Van is a world away, and compared to downtown’s hustle and bustle you’d probably be right. For most gay and straight artists alike, it’s the place to be and to work on their craft. The four-day Culture Crawl allows you to see and support the best of the best of our city’s artists, drawing more than 25,000 visitors to the work of more than 475 artists in 78 buildings in the area bounded by Columbia St, First Ave, Victoria Dr and up to the waterfront. Crawl runs until Sunday, Nov 20.
Tonight and Friday, 5-10pm; Saturday and Sunday, 11am-6pm. No cover, but feel free to donate online. Map, info and events listing at culturecrawl.ca
Learn To Give Good Head
I once was on a date with a great guy who talked all night about his blowjob skill only to discover that he was a better storyteller than J K Rowling. It was awful and I actually faked an orgasm just to get it over with. I know what you are thinking, but I explained that due to a childhood accident I don’t shoot anything and just have an internal orgasm. Obviously, I was the better story teller. If you or someone you know needs help in that area, then this is the course to learn how to blow more than your partner’s mind.
7:30pm. The Art of Loving, 369 West Broadway St. Class $35 and space must be booked ahead of time at 604-742-9988. All genders welcome. artofloving.ca
The boys are out on the town — well, those who are old enough to get in that is — and the hawks will be circling. If you’re around, drop by and hear how they sound as they take on a night of karaoke. Mpowerment events are planned by and for young men who identify as gay, bi, or queer.
7:30pm. Meet at Youthco, 568 Seymour St and walk over together or meet at 8pm at Numbers, 1042 Davie St. No cover. facebook.com/events/642612762580160
Celebrities: 32 Years Old Today
That man about town, James Steck, can actually say he gets into a 32-year-old every night. Believe it or not, Celebrities is 32 years old, and there’s a party going on. Join German house hit-maker Robin Schulz, plus Sam Demoe and Ali Sani as they and about 800 souls celebrate one of the hottest clubs in town.
10pm-3am. Celebrities, 1022 Davie St. Tickets $45 at facebook.com/events/1765249103758641/
Friday, Nov 18
Spectrum Sessions Volume 1
I admit I was mistaken. I thought I’d found a special night for lesbians, but apparently it’s not Speculum Sessions, and therefore not a night of being prodded by something that looks like a duck’s bill, but a night of love and unity through music. Explore the deeper side of house music with special guest Berlin and DJs Patrick Kelly, Skylar Love and Sivz. All are welcome. It doesn’t matter who you love, as long as you love.
10pm-3am. XYYVR, 1216 Bute St. Tickets $12 at door. facebook.com/events/1248057485216258/
Some night one of the bars should have a drink-off between Flygirl women and the village’s faux women. Maybe after enough alcohol the faux would hook up with the fly. Wild Fruit has taken over the gaybourhood. A night to dance your face off to all the tunes you grew up to and enough tequila stocked to float a boat.
I bet these faux girls could give the Learning to Give Good Head class a run for its money. Rumour has it that one of them can get you off in less than two minutes, not even long enough for “Wham bam, thank you Ma’am.” Hosted by Empress XLV Sienna Blaze and local drag queen guests along with DJ Drew, see if you can spot her. Hint: observe the lips. This show benefits the Dogwood Monarchist Society.
Showtime 10:30pm. The Junction, 1138 Davie St. Cover $5. junctionpub.com
Saturday, Nov 19
Vancouver Pride Society AGM
The annual AGM happens today and if you want to be involved and vote on issues, you need to a member in good standing. Memberships available at vancouverpride.ca
11:30am. CBC Vancouver, 700 Hamilton St.
Queens Care IX
The queens of Vancouver are a caring bunch and do a lot for several charities around the city. You may not be aware but one in particular stands out for working her ass off week after week, and all she asks for is a dozen or two bottles of beer. Of course, that queen is Joan-E and this event has come about because of her. Carlotta Gurl is co-host. All of the night’s proceeds will benefit charities such as Out in Schools, HIM, Rainbow Refugee and many more. Dig deep, drink lots, but most of all have fun and enjoy this one-of-a-kind show.
7-10:30pm. Celebrities, 1022 Davie St. Tickets $20 at Top Drawers, 809 Davie St or Little Sister’s, 1238 Davie St. facebook.com/queenscarevancouver
G-Luve & Bikes
No, DJ G-Luve is not going to be riding any bikes — at least, I hope not without asking first. Shawn Henderson, aka Bikes, is a relative newcomer to the west coast DJ scene but he will be rising to the top soon enough. Tonight both spinmeisters bring you Deep-NuDisco-Tech-Funky-House to blow you away in one of the bars with the hottest eye candy behind and in front of the bar.
10pm-3am. 1181, 1181 Davie St. No cover. facebook.com/1181Lounge/?fref=ts
Three Times A Drag Queen
These three combined could be like a gay drag version of the Witches of Eastwick but not even the devil could keep up with their carnal needs. If you remember the days of old, aka The Royal, you will know exactly who I mean. It’s a reunion of Joan-E, Carlotta Gurl and Willie Taylor. Byron, stock up the bar. This is going to be a long night.
Showtime 10:30pm. The Junction, 1138 Davie St. Cover $5. junctionpub.com
Sunday, Nov 20
Unless you were an altar boy like me, your weekly trip to church wouldn’t even come close to this one. Kneel and be ready to receive your reward. Enjoy DJ Zarafan’s beats that are worthy of worship — all in an area of hot men, hot showers and all the hot action you can handle.
4-8pm. Steamworks Baths, 123 West Pender St. Weekend rates start at $16. steamworksbaths.com
The Life Aquatic: A Tribute To David Bowie
Brazilian musician Seu Jorge sings some of David Bowie’s most popular songs in his own Portuguese Bossa Nova style — even Bowie himself gave the covers incredible praise — all part of Canadian tour. Relive the music of a gender-bending rebel who spent his life entertaining others.
7pm. The Vogue Theatre, 918 Granville St. Tickets $42.50-$325 at voguetheatre.com
Every time I write about this group I get such cravings for Mexican or Spanish food. Now they go and throw an Italian night. Bring me a lasagne. La Fiesta’s monthly show features hosts Mili, Mr Latino and Mona Funtasy, music, a drag show and more.
10pm-3am. The Junction 1138 Davie St. Cover $5 after 10pm. junctionpub.com
Monday, Nov 21
Pack Some Rubber
Just because the larger condoms are kept at the HIM office and the regular are all packed in the travel packs doesn’t mean the little guys should go in and get them. I know it sounds good to ask for the Magnum XL, but remember they will fall off if there isn’t enough meat to fill them. Check it out yourself as you help them pack condoms tonight in preparation for the holiday season — and tuck in to a nice dinner afterwards.
6-9pm. HIM Office, 1033 Davie St. checkhimout.ca
Tuesday, Nov 22
The Ryan & Amy Show
This dangerous duo have put out so many pictures with their heads and bodies switched I no longer know who’s the pretty one. Just be happy they are finally back with two great comedy shows, one tonight and the other Thursday, Nov 24. See one, see both and if you get a chance to sleep with one of them, find out which one the boobs should be on and tell me please.
Wednesday, Nov 23
Ever wanted to try a whip? On one, sort-of drunk night — okay, no booze, but a few puffs— I had the brilliant idea of taking the whip off my friend’s wall and trying that baby out. Although the scar on my forehead has long since healed, I almost lost an eye so I don’t recommend using me for lessons. However, Metro Vancouver Kink will help you out with this class. Whether you’re a newbie or well-practised, curious, or have an extensive whip collection, all are welcome to participate and socialize. It’s an opportunity to connect with others who share your interest in whips. For those that are new or nearly new to whips, and do not have a whip, there will be a few on hand to borrow. My suggestions: bring safety goggles, ear plugs and maybe a Band Aid or two.
6:30-8:30pm. Wise Hall, 1882 Adanac St. $5 donation welcome for entrance. metrovancouverkink.com