Toronto Diary
4 min

And now, a quick break from everything

Jesus… I know, okay? I know. They finally killed Osama, the elections were today, Stephen Harper violated campaign laws because that’s what happens when anal warts become sentient and run for office…. A lot of shit just went down in a very short period of time, let’s put it that way. And unfortunately, every single joke I could possibly make has already been repeated ad nauseam thanks to the wonders of Twitter. I was considering stealing other people’s material, but then I realized I’m not Carlos Mencia. So instead, seeing as how you’ve all voted, and there’s nothing you can really do at this point, let’s all take a deep breath and watch this video before we all go back to freaking the shit out.

Someone please call Child Protective Services, because anyone who would force their child to rap about religion clearly does not love their offspring. I’m not sure how or why this exists, but my most educated guess is that someone finally sat down and realized that no one really likes to go to church, ironically because it’s hotter than hell. So, they figured a better way would involve dressing a child up as a pedophile and having him rap about Jesus while he has a seizure. I’m not sure what they were going for here, but seeing as how this has simultaneously disproven both God and Darwinism for me, I’m going to go ahead and say that this was something of a lateral move.

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