Toronto Diary
3 min

And now, somethin’ for the ladies

Personally, I find vaginas (in as much as they’re connected to self-identified women) to be like New England: I’m sure it’s a perfectly wonderful place that brings joy to many, but I’m not in any real hurry to visit. That being said, it’s come to my attention that not every one of the literally dozens of people who visit this blog is a gay male. It turns out there are some women, too. And to the five of you: I know you are here. So, here’s some stuff that I think about vaginas:

Honestly, my knowledge of vaginas is somewhat limited. I know the basic layout down there and what functions everything serves, but as a gold-star gay, I’m not exactly well acquainted with them. This is in no way helped by the fact that I went to a Jesuit high school, where the brief flirtation with human sexual biology in the curriculum could be boiled down to: men have penises, women have vaginas, and if you use them to perform any of the 1,000,000,000,000 acts we’ve listed for you in your textbooks, God will set you on fire forever. So yes, I’m not exactly a connoisseur. If anyone would be willing to explain what a Mooncup is and why I should not try to drink from one, that would be peachy.

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