It’s dong. ALL THE DONG.
Yeah, turns out there’s some top-shelf celebrity cock on display in this movie, and if the first promo pics are indication, you can expect a solid 90 minutes of the good stuff. Personally, I’m calling dibs on Joe Manganiello, because I like my men like I like my coffee: full of strangers’ body hair. I will also take Channing Tatum, and maybe Alex Pettyfer. Matthew McConaughey? Nah. Until his skin stops oozing whatever skankjuice he always seems to be covered in. Seriously: those dying pelicans they pulled out of the BP oil spill are covered in less harmful, toxic substances than that d-bag.