If there’s any sort of lesson you can take away from this week, it’s that being a total shithead is a prerequisite to coach football.
Between almost everyone on Penn State’s football program getting shitcanned for either enabling or actively participating in the alleged rape and prostitution of children (Yyyyyyyyyyyyup) and a new report where a Wyoming football coach got axed for saying that real men bully other kids, something went terribly, terribly wrong in the great sport of handegg. I meant football. Actually? No. The game uses neither feet nor balls. Handegg it is.
Pat Lynch (LYNCH — for shit’s sake, even his last name means to wrongfully kill minorities out of a skewed sense of justice) reportedly handed out a faux “Hurt Feelings Report” wherein he made it clear that only “queers” and those with “woman-like hormones” got their feelings hurt, and “real men” bullied them. That happened.
And in case you’re wondering? This is what he looks like:
Christ, what exactly were the standards for hiring this guy? “Sure, he sounds like a total shitdick, but does he look like the leader of a Hitler Youth group? Oh he does? Give him all the money.”