Arts & Entertainment
1 min

Axe swinging, wood chips flying

Roman Wright and Marko Lebeau have some fun in the back of a pickup truck after a little light yard work in Colt's new Bear movie. Credit:

Each fall, in preparation fortheir annual hibernation, bears build up an extra layer of body fat, they slow down and their fur thickens. After their months-long winter lethargy, bears emerge leaner, hungry and looking for action. 

And this is a point I’m going to try to make, carefully, about bears in our community as well.

Being a bear is as much about a mindset as it is about a body type. It’s not just a group that gay men join when their gym memberships expire. Some bears are muscular, some are hairy and some seem to be preparing for winter.

The men in Bear, Colt Studio’s latest contribution to this genre of man-on-man sex, offer a range of bear bodies to enjoy.

The film starts with bearded brunette Bob Hager splitting firewood in front of thick Aaron Cage. Hager swings a mean axe; wood chips shoot all over the place, and before half a cord is even on the ground, Cage is tugging at Hager’s beard, licking the small of his back and trying to find a way into his jock. Though the jocks and steel-toed boots stay on, Hager pushes his barrel-chested friend over a picnic table and tries to split him like kindling. 

As hot as this scene is, and it is, they’ll freeze to death in February if they don’t get that wood chopped.

The second scene features blond Marko Lebeau in the back of a pickup truck riding Roman Wright, after a little light yard work. Lebeau is the youngest and leanest cast member, but despite this (and the fact that it looks like he’s never cleared a pile of brush in his life), Lebeau fits nicely into Bear. Though he doesn’t have a hairy upper body, the hair on his legs is thick, coarse and reaches up to his round ass.

After that there’s a boring scene where Aaron Cage and Josh West shirk some more home maintenance. The sex is just tedious bears bumping up against each other and grunting. They should have just chopped wood instead.

The movie concludes with massive Marc Vallint topping slightly greying Bronson Gates, in sneakers, on an uncut lawn. Gates, who is probably twice the age of the average porn actor, turns in one of the hottest scenes in the movie.

Colt Studio’s Bear provides a different bear for every taste and purpose — except, of course, yard work.