Baby #2 for Elton and David

Can I be reincarnated into the fetus that Elton John and David Furnish’s surrogate is pregnant with? Designer baby #1 Zachary is living the good life. His parents are gay, rich and famous — and old. Those are some smart gold-digging embryos. Not only are they hitting the jackpot, they can play dress-up in all the costumes Elton hasn’t been able to fit into since gaining the baby weight. Oh, wait. . .

Surrogate to the Stars (the legal name of the surrogate carrying Elton and David’s second heir), was also the surrogate for their first. In a weird Hollywood twist, Surrogate to the Stars also reportedly gave birth to one of Kelsey and Camille Grammer’s kids. That skinny bitch would have a surrogate. But who can blame her? Why actually have sex with Kelsey Grammer, and be fat and uncomfortable for nine months, when you can just call Surrogate to the Stars and place an order? Although, since Kelsey’s infidelity is no secret, perhaps he and Surrogate to the Stars conceived the old-fashioned way.

Anyway, there’s supposed to be a congratulations to Elton and David in here somewhere . . . but mostly congratulations to their second child, who has really hit the motherload of tacky outfits and millions.

Lucky bitch.

Keep Reading

The United States Capitol appears in front of Trans Flag colours; hands holding a smartphone with the TikTok logo on it are shown in front, under a blue filter.

How a U.S. TikTok ban would censor trans people

ANALYSIS: Conservatives are trying to leverage censorship to promote their own anti-trans agenda

In ‘Ten Bridges I’ve Burnt,’ Brontez Purnell balances on a knife edge between hilarity and despair

Purnell's new memoir turns heaviness into humour, and exposes the bleakness under what seems silly and light

‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ Season 16, Episode 12 power ranking: Designing women

Who among our top five will fall short of the finale?

‘RuPaul’s Drag Race’ Season 16, Episode 12 recap: Bathroom babes

The infamous room design challenge returns, this time with … restrooms?