Can I be reincarnated into the fetus that Elton John and David Furnish's surrogate is pregnant with? Designer baby #1 Zachary is living the good life. His parents are gay, rich and famous — and old. Those are some smart gold-digging embryos. Not only are they hitting the jackpot, they can play dress-up in all the costumes Elton hasn't been able to fit into since gaining the baby weight. Oh, wait. . .
Surrogate to the Stars (the legal name of the surrogate carrying Elton and David's second heir), was also the surrogate for their first. In a weird Hollywood twist, Surrogate to the Stars also reportedly gave birth to one of Kelsey and Camille Grammer's kids. That skinny bitch would have a surrogate. But who can blame her? Why actually have sex with Kelsey Grammer, and be fat and uncomfortable for nine months, when you can just call Surrogate to the Stars and place an order? Although, since Kelsey's infidelity is no secret, perhaps he and Surrogate to the Stars conceived the old-fashioned way.
Anyway, there's supposed to be a congratulations to Elton and David in here somewhere . . . but mostly congratulations to their second child, who has really hit the motherload of tacky outfits and millions.