Okay, so I’m a bit behind for the World Cup.
But having recently enjoyed a tour of Manchester City football grounds, where I couldn’t help picturing the locker room packed with sweaty athletes needing some help with their strained muscles, this movie was still perfectly timed for me.
In Soccer Club, Eastern Euro studs work up a sweat on the field and then work it all off again in the showers, on the doctor’s bench and even right out in the stadium.
These magnificent sporting men — ranging from the twinkish Benny Long to the massively muscled Jack Dragon — can’t concentrate on their training for the constant manflesh surrounding them.
Goalie Giuseppe Pardi screws up, letting too many into his net. Jeff Branson gives him shit about it, but then makes it up to him with a nice, soothing rubdown in the shower.
Win Soldier (what kind of name is that?) is cleaning off his boots after the match when Daniel Star’s sparkling blue eyes throw him off his game, and they end up fucking on the floor before all the team’s trophies.
Speaking of trophies, check out Jack Wright’s huge curvy cock. It must take one hell of a cup to keep all that under control.
Pardi’s still feeling tense, though, so the team physio breaks out the oil for a stripped-down massage. Apparently, Pardi’s butt cheeks are a particular problem area — they certainly get a lot of attention. Soon it’s a threeway with Pardi getting hammered at both ends.
Later, when coach Dragon catches Star and Adriano Cassano fucking in the locker room when they should be practising, he recognizes the perfect team-building exercise and joins in the action.
You can probably tell I wasn’t overly enthused with this one.
I’m afraid that, as is often the case with what I’ve loosely termed “Hungarian Bodybuilder” movies, the sex can be less than convincing at times. Mechanical, overdubbed moans — in the wrong language, no less — and inelegant editing are a recurring flaw. And the guys really shouldn’t be looking to camera so often.
But that makes the moments when it does work all the better, like when Star actually forces Soldier’s long dick all the way down his throat, choking and gurgling and slobbering but refusing to give up. And you know you’ll be picturing Beckham, Ronaldo or even yourself right in the middle of the game.