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Ben Affleck has a huge dick

Chuck Lorre, the producer who gave the world Two and a Half Men, was accepting an award at the Producers Guild of America Awards last night, but as he took the stage, it was obvious he had been dickmatized . . .

At the Golden Globes last week, Lorre stood next to Ben Affleck at a urinal. 

“Yes I peeked,” Lorre said during his acceptance speech. “And yes, Comic Con, he can play Batman.”

When it was Ben’s turn to take the stage to present Best Picture, he said, “I want to thank someone tonight. Evidentially, I was in the bar briefly and I came back to my seat and someone said, ‘You know there was a guy on stage who said you have a big dick. I was like, ‘You know? Isn’t that always how it goes. The one time it happens, I miss it.’ Thank you very much. Whoever you are, god bless you. I’m often confused with Matt Damon but rarely with Michael Fassbender, so it’s a nice change.”

Unfortunately, Ben didn’t whip it out. He handed a different trophy to the makers of Gravity and 12 Years a Slave, who tied for best film.