2 min

Bitch bark canoe

Enough silliness to give you paws

DOG DAYS. Lesbians in the country. Credit: Xtra files

Although I still haven’t figured out what the title Dog Days has to do with this quirky video, the movie’s campy tone, plot and characters made a whole lot of sense and resulted in lots of laughs.

Directed by Margaret Moores and produced by Moores and Almerinda Travassos – collaborators for more than 15 years – Dog Days is a 40-minute video jam-packed with special effects, a delightful low-budget feel and, most importantly, hot babes.

The premise is that four big-city dykes move to rural Ontario to work on the land and renovate the house they’ve bought collectively. But queer things begin to happen to the industrious foursome when they discover old love letters hidden in the rafters of the house.

As we all know, when love is in the air, lesbians go into overdrive. In this magical rural adventure, zaniness is the rule, complete with a talking pooch, ghosts, tree sap that glows with “sexual energy” and flying carpets.

The video satirizes low-budget videos with deliberately stiff acting and “fancy” special effects to move between scenes in a cheesy, yet pleasing manner.

The characters comprise a variety of lesbian “types,” parodied with wide-eyed earnestness. Bev (played by Shawna Dempsey) is the logical, golf-playing scientist yearning for romance. Her secret experiment is to concoct a true-blue aphrodisiac.

Catherine (Louise Liliefeldt) is an overall-wearing, self-proclaimed botanist. But you’ll recognize her as the goddess-worshipping, crystal-wearing, nurturer of nature that she is. Catherine has a tofuish penchant for getting in touch with “vibes,” but is very pro-sex and builds a “cruising garden.”

Spike (Deirdre Logue) is the ex-factory worker with a fondness for organizing unions. On the farm, Spike is the swaggering, cigar-smoking, labyris-grinding butch who, of course, wears her jeans low on the hips, and a dirty T-shirt with the arms cut off to display rippling biceps.

As a bonus, she is usually seen bent over a hot fire, pounding horseshoes and covered in sweat.

Rose (Johanna Tzountzouris) is the alluring, flirtatious, artistic femme who completes the wholesome foursome. Clad in a skirt and fetching blouse, and always seeming to grasp a paintbrush, delicately caressing herself with the bristles, she works wonders on the canvas, rendering lovely designs of organic zucchini/eggplant dildos with elegance and style.

This home-grown video is intentionally light, funny and, at times, downright silly.

Dog Days.

$5. 7pm & 8:30pm.

Fri, May 14.

Tallulah’s Cabaret.

12 Alexander St.

(416) 975-8555.