Arts & Entertainment
2 min

Blitz & Shitz’s Pride picks

Events for Pride virgins and veterans alike

Credit: Sarah Race

Thurs, July 28

What: The Pride Ball. A fashion show like no other, including High Fashion East, Femme Realness, Yacht Club Couture, Butch Queen, High Tea Realness, Riot Realness and Vogue. Why: Because my glittery ass is one of the judges. For high scores, I am now accepting blowjobs.

Thurs, July 28

SHOW ME YOUR PEACOCK

The Big Fat Cock contest is at 1181, and word on the grapevine is that one of the bartenders is hard to beat. Of course, there’s more than one way to beat a hot bartender. Have you seen the bartenders at 1181? Don’t tell me you don’t want a glimpse of that.

Thurs, July 28

OVER THE RAINBOW

The 411 Seniors Centre is celebrating aging with pride. Personally, I plan on aging with Botox and Restylane, but I am down for a comedy show, live music and lunch from 1 to 3pm with the gays who helped start it all.

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Fri, July 29

DANCING ON THE STREET

This is a must! Celebrate your Pride, and our Village, at the Davie St Dance Party. It’s the perfect way to kick off Pride weekend. $10 at the gate gets you a shitz load of fun, including performances from Kim Kuzma, Joan-E, Sugarbeach, Summer Osborne and more.

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Sat, July 30

RAPTURE: HEATWAVE

You haven’t been killing yourself at the gym for nothing, have you? Put your ’nana in its hammock and beat the heat at the Westin Grand Hotel for a party that’s gonna make the Playboy Mansion’s grotto look like a kiddie pool.

Sat, July 30

OUTGAMES CLOSING PARTY

You can tell I’m a child of the ’90s because I am more excited to see Ace of Base than anything else during Pride. The fact that my favourite Canadian electronic group, Dragonette, is also performing is the cherry on top of the whipping cream that I want to lick off DJ Rafael Calvente’s chest. Let the games begin! Or, er, end!

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Sun, July 31

SPIT VS BLOW PONY

Holy shitz! This is going to be fucking amazing. If you’ve never been to an Eastside Spit party, stop being such a swallowing whore and get your ass to the Waldorf Hotel, where Vancouver and Portland’s edgiest extravaganzas unite for some seriously gritty glam.

Sun, July 31

THE ANTHEM

DJ Abel is back in town from Miami, bringing Pride and the Outgames together one last time, with a performance from the fabulous Wynter Gordon. Be sure to check out my Blitz & Shitz blog on xtra.ca for an exclusive interview with Wynter, and get ready to die with the music, bitches!

Sun, July 31

THE VICTORY CIRCUIT

Rapture is notorious. With international DJs from the UK and Berlin, along with live musical performances, what other way is there to finish your Pride week than with sweaty enlightenment? See you in nirvana!