Blogs & Columns
1 min

Bodybreak…and Mariah Carey’s most recent schizophrenic videologue

So. Not that I watch a ton of TV but whenever I do turn it on (Departures, Entourage reruns, Carlawood…mmm), I manage to catch one of the new Bodybreak ads and everytime I see one, I'm not sure whether I should scream or throw up.

Body Break…featuring Hal Johnson and Joanne McCloud.

This is one of Canada's best kept worst secrets. Back when these things aired in the late 80s, I already thought these two were old:

 
Now they're even older…but also strangely not old at the same time.
Ageless. A god and goddess, perhaps, of general fitness and
cracker-jack sports therapy. Were you aware that they have been making
these 90 sec commercials now for OVER 20 years? Yet despite being gay,
fitness obsessed and growing up watching Hal and Joanne flounce about
from one health hijinx to the next, I still maintain that these two are
the very last thing I want to think about while exercising. Especially
Hal. But especially Joanne. But ESPECIALLY Hal.

In other news, Mariah Carey's released a new music video for Obsessed. I've changed my mind about the song. As with all things La Carey, I can't hate. Though on a deper metaphorical level, I found myself wondering: <gasp> is Mariah Carey obsessed with…herself?

In any case, this video revisits a familiar blueprint:

 


 

Mariah Carey – Obsessed

Receipe for a Mariah videosmash:

  • Take 4-5 skimpy dresses;
  • Add windtunnel or blow dryer for blowing hair effect;
  • Then give Mariah a chance to play multiple characters/versions of herself.

And voila! You have a crappy music video filled with unintended hilarity.