3 min

Boldly into the heart of darkness

The keys to your own back passage

Dear Dr Ren:

I have some questions about anal insertion. I always wanted to experiment with putting liquids in my rear via a tube. Is this unsafe or risky? I’m thinking of using lotion, baby oil, and condiments like vinegar, barbeque sauce, olive oil, or a tiny bit of Tabasco sauce. How would I go about it? Also, I heard that the anus regains its tightness, but I’ve also heard that some people go too far and now they have to wear diapers! Is this true? What precautions should I take to avoid that?

Bottom Feeder

Dear Bottom Feeder:

You probably won’t hurt yourself by putting those substances up your bum, but keep this in mind: anything you put in your rectum will be absorbed much more quickly into your bloodstream than anything you put in your mouth or throat. Once you have something inside your body, it begins to affect you immediately and will continue to do so until you poop it out. Be especially wary of alcohol because only a tiny amount up your bum can make you blind drunk in minutes.

Tabasco will burn going in and coming out, so be careful. Oil can be embarrassingly messy and can coat your rectum and lower digestive tract, preventing the absorption of nutrients until it clears. Lotion may have ingredients that can irritate sensitive tissues. Read labels, and avoid ingredients like perfumes, dyes, and anything you aren’t familiar with. Avoid anything sharp, caustic (corrosive), or much warmer than body temperature. Lube and the tip from an enema bottle will make insertion of your condiments of choice more comfortable. Aim to place them just inside your sphincter rings.

Your anal sphincter is closed by default. It is a powerful, resilient and very elastic muscle. Only if it were torn (extremely rare and surgically repairable) would it not close up again after anal play. Even when opening your asshole to accommodate foreign objects like butt plugs, dildos or hands (called fisting or hand balling) the danger is minimal. Your concern about diapers is unfounded. File rag boys under urban myths and get on with enjoying your backside.

Pain upon insertion of any object signals muscle tension. Your goal is to relax and contract your anal sphincter, a natural and daily function. With practice and technique, you can learn to expand your asshole further with greater safety and comfort. There are several excellent instructional DVDs that can help you learn how.

Those new to anal play should keep in mind a few tips for comfort and safety.

Stop doing anything that feels like it is causing damage-a good rule with any sexual play-and have someone with you who can make sure everything looks okay. If you experience more than a small amount of (bright red) bleeding, or if you have painful symptoms that last more than an hour or so, seek medical attention. Always err on the side of caution.

Prepare for your evening by cleaning out any poop in the chute with an enema. Use lukewarm water and repeat until the water runs clear. Put a towel or flannel-backed rubber sheet on the bed so you needn’t worry about housekeeping. Be generous with lube. The anal area produces none of its own and objects to its skin being pulled. Make sure anything inserted into your rectum has a wide flange so that it can’t be lost up your butt-you don’t need an embarrassing emergency room visit or an uncomfortable recovery period.

Take it slow. Remember that relaxation is the key to success and pleasure. If you encounter resistance in your partner’s rosebud, massage their butt cheeks, thighs and back until relaxation is restored. Do not rush. Wait for the physical invitation of the sphincter’s release.

Just inside the outer sphincter is an inner ring. This too needs encouragement and time to relax and open. Once inside, a probing finger or two will find the prostate gland on the belly side of the male body. This gland should feel smooth, lobed, and round, and with a little gentle stroking will reward its owner with exquisitely pleasurable feelings. Beyond and around that landmark lies the fragile pocket of the rectum, which is sensitive to pressure. It is the feeling of envelopment and containment-and the attendant trust required to welcome someone into that region-that makes anal entry so very intimate and thrilling. The stimulation of the concentration of nerves in the pelvic floor activated by anal sex explains its popularity.

Fear not, Bottom Feeder. So long as you use common sense and educate yourself about how to treat your arse, you can indulge your curiosity and experiment to your heart’s delight.