Vancouver
5 min

Bus bunnies are cool

Exploring Tara Taylor's on-road adventures

LITTLE TIME FOR PLAY. Tara Taylor says she has a great time working for her boss, Bif Naked, but the public image of on-road rock and roll partying has become dated. Credit: Matthew Lister

Michael Venus: Hello there, how are you doin’?



Tara Taylor: Better now that you’re here.



MV: Why, thank you. If we were straight we’d make a hot sexy duo, don’t cha think? So babe, what have you been doing?



TT: Most recently, I’ve been promoting the shite out of a couple of awesome bands that TKO Entertainment is working with-The Vincent Black Shadow, Soma City Ward, Means to an End, and The Flairs. We’re also finishing Bif Naked’s latest single, but mostly wrapping up her new CD, so look for that later this year.



MV: Tell me about your work and what exactly it is that you do.



TT: I work for Bif Naked’s label-Her Royal Majesty’s Records, and the management company TKO Entertainment. I do what’s needed; sometimes that’s office work such as setting up shows and tours, as well as promotions and marketing. And sometimes I’m on the road and it’s my job to make sure it rolls as it should, like merchandise selling or setting up stage, or settling the fine details with the promoter, all the way down to making sure Scotty has his pre-show cola. Just whatever needs be, gets done.



MV: What is it like? What are the best parts about work in the world of rock and roll?



TT: In my opinion, there honestly ain’t any job cooler, except maybe yours. I love the being on the road part of the job, waking up in a new city every morning-well, more like every afternoon. This job changes all the time and has never been the same two days in a row, so there’s no time to get bored. Oh, and bus bunnies are cool.



MV: Oh really? I guess being on the road also equates to party-party lots-lots?



TT: Nope, nope, we really don’t party that much. Not really enough time, you know, between daily bible readings and fighting crime, but if that didn’t take up all our time I’m sure we would be rippin’ it all night with cases upon cases of brew, loads of vodka and tons of hot bus bunnies who would probably refuse to keep their clothes on. But I don’t really know about that lifestyle.



As mentioned, we don’t have the time.



MV: Being on the rock road of travel and fun you must meet a lot of sexy ladies. Do you get to pick up any hotties?



It’s kinda like Vegas-what goes on the road, stays on the road, so you’ll have to wait for my bestselling bio for those stories.



MV: It seems like Bif Naked is a strong, powerful intelligent feminist role model. What do you think her attraction is?



TT: Every day I learn something new from Bif. Sometimes it’s life-changing and makes me rethink some of my own views; other times I learn from her that I have something in my teeth. I think that’s part of her attraction. She’s super intelligent and doesn’t back down if it’s something she believes, but she also doesn’t cram her shit down your throat. And it doesn’t hurt that she’s got a great ass.



MV: She definitely is hot and I have tons of dyke girlfriends who have big crushes on her. Who do you think she attracts more of-straight guys or gay girls?



TT: It’s hard to say, depending on how she’s walking. I would say straight guys. And of course, you know how dykes always pair up, so lots of times they are there with their better half-meaning they can’t be attracted to anyone else-so I guess maybe gay girls ‘cuz there’s always a gaggle of them.



MV: What is the best thing about working with Bif?



TT: How often do you get paid to work with one of your best friends? That fuckin’ rocks, and I get to travel all over the place and I don’t gotta thumb a ride to get there (most of the time). Have I mentioned bus bunnies?



MV: Who are your role models and/or favorite Rock Mamas?



TT: Alright, I know most everyone says it, but my mom definitely is one of my role models. She takes on the whole world with a single bound and keeps the house spotless and still has time to make roast beef, mashed potatoes and gravy with a healthy side of veggies, and motherfucking apple pie for dessert. Another role model would definitely be Peter Karroll, ‘cuz the brother’s got the midas touch along with everybody’s respect.



As far as Rock Mamas: first off Peaches, nuff said. I also dig Pansy Division, them are some hot songs, and, of course, Team Dresch for basically starting it all. Oh yah, one of my fave rock mamas: Beth Ditto from the Gossip. Confidence is wicked hot.



MV: I don’t really know much about your past. Who are you and where do you come from?



TT: I’m currently in the witness protection program, but as long as you don’t tell anyone. . . . I grew up in Kamloops, but got the cluck outta there as soon as I graduated beauty school. Then, I thumbed it across Canada for a few years until I stumbled across the city I now call home, Vancouver.



MV: How did you get into this business anyway?



TT: Swallowed all the way to the rear tires. As well, I was in the right place at the right time and I knew the right things to say to convince the higher ups that they needed me, which they do.



MV: Okay, let’s get up close and personal.



TT: Okay, closer, closer, closer.



MV: Are you nervous?



TT: No, are you?



MV: A little. This is a three-part question: 1) What kind of woman is your ideal, perfect mate? 2) What kind of woman is your ideal, perfect fuck? 3) Could this be the same woman? Box, pun, defy, go!



TT: I haven’t even tried figuring out the perfect mate as of yet, so I guess that’s my perfect mate-not just one person. As far as an ideal fuck, that is and will be, for a long time, ongoing research. So as long as my ideal mate and fuck also think that there’s more then one person out there, yep I definitely think it could be the same person. I don’t think I’ve ever used the word ‘person’ so many times; Can I even do that?



MV: Oh sure, honey, you can do any person and be whatever person you want to be. Now let’s get personal. What gets you in hot, hot heat?



TT: Your mom.



MV: Ha-ha. Seriously, what makes you drip?



TT: Man, is my face as red as it feels? What makes me hot? I definitely dig doing it in public. That whole almost-getting-caught does a lot for me. Um, watching gets me pretty wet. I dig transgression- is that even the right word? I’m not very good with the big words. But mainly outside the norm, or pushing my own boundaries, is going to make me drip, no categories or boxes, no pun intended.



MV: So then what really turns you off in bed?



TT: I don’t know; hasn’t happened yet.



MV: If I was one of those silly little plastic fortune telling eight- balls that you shake for your prediction, what would I spell out for you?



TT: Are you telling me that if I shake your balls you’ll tell me my fortune? Now, that is a line I’ve never used before. Mind if I use it sometime?



MV: That’s fine but it’ll cost ya. But seriously, what does the future have in store?



TT: White picket fence, 2.3 kids, a dog named Spot, and my own harem. Wouldn’t that be great? Seriously, I don’t really wanna know what my future has in store for me. If you know or expect, there’s just room to be let down; just roll with it, cha know?



MV: Finally, why are you such a cool chick?



TT: It must be the secret ingredient in the moonshine that granny sends me every Easter.