1 min

Casper Smart and the zombie gangbang

A while back there was a rumour going around that J-Lo’s 25-year-old boyfriend is gay after some bitter dancer outed him on Twitter. At the time I wrote it off as wishful thinking, because every day it seems a new male celebrity is being outed. And I get it. Zac Efron is an ass-pounding fag in my mind because I want him to be (I know, I know, I’m the only one who fantasizes about Zac Efron doing the pounding . . .) But now that I give it a second thought, why the hell would anyone be wishfully thinking that Casper Smart is gay? He’s only kinda cute on allowance day, but that’s just because George Washington is a bigger aphrodisiac than a Zefron bulge shot.

So, Casper was photographed outside, and going into, an adult boutique in New York City. In Touch Magazine (which is right up there with The New York Times in terms of legitimacy), claims that there is an erotic massage parlour in the building where some bitch named Bibi, a professional hand job giver masseuse, claims that Casper went in for a little happy ending. Bibi also says he has “strong muscles,”which is New York City masseuse slang for “that hole is tight."

Star Magazine, however, is claiming that Casper actually went into the building to see a peep show. Fred Willard is such a trendsetter! A source, who I’m sure wasn’t paid anything for his or her story, claims:

"Yeah, I’ve seen him. He was in here about three weeks ago. This is a gay cruising spot. You go into the booths, then you get all kind of tapping on the wall and propositions. It’s like zombies."

Since Casper was photographed leaving the building 10 minutes after entering without carrying any purchases, I’d say this is the most logical explanation. Casper the friendly ghost was getting gang-fucked by a bunch of zombies! I mean, everyone knows zombies are one-minute (dead) men. 

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