Toronto Diary
1 min

Cheyenne Jackson’s alleged jack-off video surfaces

If you’ve ever wanted to see Broadway star and 30 Rock hunk Cheyenne Jackson jerk off, this may or may not be your lucky day. Possibly.

Fleshbot claims to have a video of Cheyenne Jackson jerking off for about 50 seconds (I’m assuming the guy in the video had a running start before he hit the record button) before ejaculating, saying, “The only thing more hilarious than this actual video is the fact that some refuse to believe it’s actually Cheyenne Jackson. We’re going to go ahead and say that it is — you can clearly see one of his brand new prison tattoos in the video, and oh yeah — he shows his fucking face at the end!"

Once again, we have absolutely no idea if this is actually Cheyenne Jackson or someone who just looks remarkably like him, but . . . Eh. Beggars can’t be choosers. I’ll take what I can get.

Regardless of whether or not it’s him, let’s face it: it’s just masturbation. You don’t think the rich and the famous haven’t danced the five-knuckle shuffle with Rosy Palm? You think they haven’t tickled the one-eyed trouser snake until he threw up? You think they haven’t flicked the bean, visited the south pole, juggled the family jewels, saluted their shorts, gone up and down the Maypole with the five friends of Handyland — you get what I’m saying here.

Everyone (or at the very least, a fuck of a lot of people) masturbates. It’s just one of those bodily functions that people need to indulge in every now and then. Whether you record it or not, practically everyone does it, so let’s not get too weird about it.