It almost feels dirty trashing Christian pop songs at this point. Hell, King of the Hill so thoroughly tore apart the concept that nothing can nor probably ever will top it. I mean fuck, MIKE JUDGE. How do you out-satire that guy? You just don’t.
And yet, there will always be people who find new, exciting ways to lower the bar. People like Bizzle, a Christian rapper who’s built a career on shaming famous rappers for not being Christian enough. He’s like the Westboro Baptist Church of rap, which is probably the worst way to describe a person.
Bizzle is getting a fair amount of publicity for his anti-gay recreation of Macklemore’s “Same Love.” Where the original song preached love and encouraged critical thinking about organized religion, Bizzle is all about telling gays to quit whining and enter loveless, sexless marriages.
In an excerpt from the song via The Advocate — you can find audio of the track on YouTube, but I don’t want to give that asshole the views — Bizzle says, “You were never oppressed, the Devil is a liar. The only thing oppressed was your sexual desire. Keeping your desires oppressed is so lame to you, but when you get married, that’s what you expect your mate to do.”
So if I’m getting this right, all those laws oppressing the LGBT community? Lies planted by the devil. Like fossils! And if you’re a good Christian, you’ll enter a marriage devoid of sexual experimentation. Who could say no to an offer like that?
There’s a lot wrong with Bizzle: the fact that he rides the coattails of more successful rappers, his irrational hatred, the fact that he named himself after “izzle” speak when Snoop Dogg abandoned it years ago. But I will give him credit where credit is due. He really makes me feel good about being gay. If his idea of a happy religious relationship involves both partners curbing their sexual desires, then he can just keep that to himself.