Daily Briefs
1 min

Cock cross creates Catholic conniptions

Holiday gift idea: Tom Ford has designed some tasteful phallic jewellery

If you’re looking for that last-minute holiday gift, a Tom Ford–designed penis pendant might be just what you’re looking for.

It’s definitely a conversation starter, especially for those inquisitive Catholic relatives.

Fashion designer Ford’s pendant has some religious groups proselytizing against his tasteful, phallic jewellery, Pink News reports. “When we learned of this item, I said to the staff that I bet this guy Tom Ford is a homosexual,” says Bill Donohue of the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights. “I was right. He even thinks he’s married.”

The Catholic-angering necklace, which comes in small, medium and large penis sizes in either silver or gold, is going for $790 on Ford’s website.

While a cross-shaped dick necklace may seem like some good-old-fashioned Catholic outrage-bait, Esquire thinks that “Ford’s cross is more likely to be an allusion to the phallic fascinus charms ancient Romans wore than merely a dick joke. Sure, it’s still a dick joke in that case, but one played for eggheads instead of goofballs.”

Remember, as the saying goes, diamonds are forever, but penis jewellery is only as good as its hardness.