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Come on, shake your body baby, do the conga I know you can’t control yourself any longa…

Do the conga beat.

So you know those urban myths about models not eating or drinking water for 24 hours before a photo or video shoot to look cut and defined and lean? Well, it turns out these aren't urban myths. I may have had a photo shoot yesterday afternoon with the fantabulous, brilliant Brandon Gaukel (promo shots for potential television show – Anyone? Anyone?) and, for the first time ever, stopped eating and drinking the night before that.

Let me tell you a little diddy: once upon a time I wanted to model. In my TFP  days (which stands for Trade For Photo, something aspiring models negotiate with photographers to build portfolios), I had photographers tell me:

1) I'm fat

2) Slap my stomach and tell me I'm fat

3) Tell me I have a face for television (which was true probably), not to be confused with "a face full of fashion" (I thank you)

Yes yes…there was also the cliched casting couch innuendo and also inappropriate cupping. But those didn't bother me as much as the fat/face comments.

To make a long story short: no food + no water + strenuous exercise at gym = a thought-numbing sensation in frontal lobe of brain.

I am still not feeling so smrt. So here's this:

And if you liked that, or even if you didn't like that, it gave you enough context to appreciate these gems from Cyanide and Happiness: