Toronto Diary
1 min

Completely rational individual plans to file class-action lawsuit against homosexuality

Because, apparently, this is something you can actually do, former Baptist pastor/Tea Party leader Rick Scarborough has announced a plan to file a class-action lawsuit against homosexuality. Not anyone in particular, but the concept.

According to Gawker, Scarborough told equally logical human being Peter LaBarbera that he planned on suing homosexuality much in the same way people sued major tobacco companies, saying, “Obviously, statistically now even the Centers for Disease Control verifies that homosexuality much more likely leads to AIDS than smoking leads to cancer. And yet the entire nation has rejected smoking, billions of dollars are put into a trust fund to help cancer victims and the tobacco industry was held accountable for that. Any thoughts on that kind of an approach?"

Granted, my understanding of the law is mostly derived from watching reruns of Judge Judy and Legally Blonde, but . . . I’m pretty sure that’s total bullshit, right? I mean, there’s no way this is legally (or even morally) possible, is it?

Aside from the fact that homosexuality is an abstract concept with no singular tangible representative and therefore there’s no way in hell you could actually obtain financial restitution from it, who exactly would benefit from this? Was Scarborough personally victimized by this? I feel like my brain just smashed itself against a logical wall. Thanks, Rick Scarborough. Truly, you are an innovator in the field of shitting-in-your-own-mouth stupid.