July 4, 2008
Happy birthday, America! After tossing the economy into an Iraqi toilet, President Bush unveiled his Economic Stimulus Plan earlier this year, giving out $600 cheques in hopes that people would keep spending. It worked — they spent the money on porn. Not quite the stimulus Bush expected for the flaccid economy but hopefully a surging thrust that will get it pulsing and erect, while keeping me in bad puns.
In a disturbing precedent, Google has been ordered to hand over all data on YouTube users to Viacom, the media giant suing Google for copyright infringement. Not only does Viacom now know that you watched “2 Girls, 1 Cup,” they know where and when. Good thing Manhunt never ran any clips of “The Colbert Report.”
Battle of the boycotts! The founder of Bolthouse Farms, makers of those so-expensive-yet-so-delicious organic fruit drinks, is donating $100,000 towards ending gay marriage in California, while the anti-gay American Family Association is going after McDonald’s for being too gay-friendly (it’s that Grimace, isn’t it?). So for the sake of gay rights, we have to give up fancy juices and eat at McDonald’s? Politics is hard!
July 3, 2008
Starbucks is closing 600 of their US locations — an ominous economic indicator. If you’re wondering why this is being discussed on a gay news site, you’ve obviously never been IN a Starbucks.
In the world of pop culture, we win some and we lose some — at the movies, the obnoxious Will Smith character in “Hancock” annoyingly throws around the “homo” slur but on TV, “True Colors” diva Cyndi Lauper appears on today’s As The World Turns to serenade lovers Luke and Noah. Adorable!
July 2, 2008
Irish politician Iris Robinson insists she was misquoted in saying that homosexuality is a mental disorder: “People have attempted to suggest that I indicated that homosexuality was a mental health issue. Nothing could be further from the truth. What I did say was homosexuality, like all sin, is an abomination.” We’re so glad she cleared that up.
Scientists in Texas say that watermelons have an ingredient that mimics the effects of Viagra. One more reason to bring some along to your beach picnic, and don’t forget the extra napkins.
A right-wing news website (Oxymoron Today?) has been embarrassed by its automatic approach to bigotry: US Olympic sprinter Tyson Gay was repeatedly referred to as “Tyson Homosexual” on the OneNewsNow site. If I were them, I’d end these silly semantics before kids watching “The Flintstones” start singing, “We’ll have a homosexual old time!”
June 30, 2008
At his recent concert in LA, George Michael spotted the unctious Dr Phil in the audience and called him out: “In the sea of smiling faces, he’s looked miserable for the last hour… You should see someone about that!” George Michael is a national treasure — when he comes to my city, I’m going to wait in the bathroom for him as long as I have to!
A group of Republican senators are AGAIN trying to rewrite the US Constitution to ban gay marriage (fourth time’s the charm!). Two of the senators sponsoring the “Marriage Protection Amendment,” however, are Larry Craig (who got arrested for cruising for sex in a men’s bathroom) and David Vitter (who confessed to cheating on his wife with prostitutes). This blog keeps getting harder: how can you make fun of people who are already walking jokes?
We’re not sure any kitsch-loving gay man will resist the upcoming limited-edition Barbie doll based on Tippi Hedren from “The Birds.” Personally, I’m waiting for dolls based on Alfred Hitchcock’s “Rope” so I can put on some Glenn Miller music and let Farley Granger and John Dall get down to business! What? Don’t judge me — I know what your G.I. Joes got up to!
Nearly a million people jammed downtown Toronto to watch the Pride parade, which included — for the first time ever — a contingent from the Canadian Armed Forces. While we’ve always considered the Navy to be the gayest thing ever, it’s great to see the rest of the Forces catch up!
June 27, 2008
Say it ain’t so! The rumours of Madonna and Guy Ritchie getting divorced are louder than ever. While it’s always sad to see a couple break up, hopefully the divorce agreement will grant Ritchie custody of his former film career.
Cuba’s first-ever gay pride parade was cancelled minutes before it was set to begin, with its organizers arrested by police. Something for Toronto Pride participants to think about this weekend in the half-hour it’ll take them to move one block in the crowd.
Author and national treasure David Sedaris admits that he’s only just now begun using email: “The internet is so new to me. I didn’t realize you could just go on and lie about people.” Oh David, that’s what the internet is FOR!
A new report from the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention says that young gay men under the age of 25 are contracting HIV at a rate 10 times higher than gay men overall. C’mon now, kids — we fogeys have defended your texting, your sense of entitlement, your emo poetry but seriously, use condoms. We want you around to gripe about the next generation after you!