Okay Twilight fans, stop hyperventilating over tomorrow's release of New Moon and please explain something to me. You've got the half-naked wolf pack and sexy costars Peter Facinelli and Kellan Lutz pretending to be lovers in front of the cameras:
With all that eye-candy, why then does everyone focus on spindly bedhead boy Robert Pattinson? I mean, good Liza, have you seen the magazine racks this week? He's on every cover! And you know it's getting bad when you spot this next to Macleans:
Looks like I'm not on Team Edward. But then what do I know? I look at this new video from goofy power-poppers Valley Lodge and dream of furniture better than my Ikea:
Well, maybe some fantasies are better left alone. Kind of like how Utah Senator Chris Buttars just used the right-wing's favourite paging-Doctor-Freud catchphrase:
"I don't mind gays. I just don't want 'em stuffin' it down my throat all the time."
Ahem. I guess he's more of a Jacob man.
But for a fantasy world you'd really want to live in, we turn again to Dolce and Gabbana, the only men brazen enough to use a threeway to sell watches: