13 min

Daily Roundup: Conservatives are just adorable!

Just because we disagree with conservatives doesn't mean we dislike them.  Nothing could be further from the truth!  Right-wingers are absolutely charming — like "Anne of Green Gables" or Michael Bublé, you just want to pinch their cute little cheeks!  But why are they so adorable?  

— they believe that Sarah Palin wrote a 400-page book in just four months.  That's so cute! 

— They admit that opposing gay marriage is "a losing argument" but fight tooth-and-nail anyway — they're the Toronto Maple Leafs of bigotry!

— they're natural prop comics:

 

— they harken back to a simpler time, like when they declare that women shouldn't be allowed to vote

— they share the same beliefs as moronic TV sitcom characters. Fun!

— they insist that the Bible is the unchanging Word of God…then scamper off and rewrite it!

— they arrest people in their own homes (oh wait…that's deplorable…never mind): 

— they name their new righter-than-right Alberta party "Wildrose."  So pretty!

— like the cutest, slowest of tots, conservatives in the US Congress need their own Constitution explained to them:

 
— they try to scare people with tales of "the final assault on our families and American culture by the homosexuals."  That's adorable in itself…but then they beg for money!
 
— and finally, they're just keep getting proven wrong.  Again and again and again!

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