2 min

Daily Roundup: Things you never knew you needed

Things like communion wafers.  Seriously!  The fact that the Catholic Church is now using them as a political weapon makes me want to run to Sunday mass for the first time in about, oh, 90 years and grab and eat the entire bowlful.  You'd think the Church would be happy with all those Anglicans they scooped up but no — like General Sherman, the Borg or Miley Cyrus, they just keep advancing!

Fortunately, the mighty Pam Spaulding has a lovely story about one grandmother coming to our defense.

Now you may not feel you need to watch poor closeted teen Riley on Degrassi: The Next Generation but this interview with actor Argiris Karras is, like, the Cutest Thing EVAH!!!!!!!!!

Who knew we'd find ourselves desperate to Facebook-friend Janine Krieber? The wife of deposed Liberal leader Stéphane Dion has been awfully entertaining lately (unless you're Michael Ignatieff).

I find myself oddly in need of the new audiobook by David Sedaris. "Why not?" you ask, "He's hilarious."  True, but never before on a vinyl album:

 

Also, the Daily Beast has the handy if occasionally disturbing list of "8 New Internet Sex Fads."  The iPhone can do a lot but having it listen to you orgasm has to be the creepiest thing in a bedroom since Paranormal Activity.

Speaking of orgasms:

a) it seems you really need to get an invite to one of Pierre Fitch's house parties in Montreal, and

b) who knew a simple Twitter invitation from Rolling Stone political reporter Matt Taibbi could inspire such impure thoughts in this, your humble Xtra blogger?  Is it the ballcap?  The smirk? Or his definitive takedown of the entire Sarah Palin media circus?  All I know is that I can't get enough of his massive organ!

His brain.  C'mon, people!

But he's right — Sarah Palin is done. How can she not be when she's being beaten down by not only Taibbi but also conservative pundit David Frum, 19-year-old "porn star" Levi Johnston and a surprisingly cutting Martha Stewart?  This clip is, yes, a good thing:

I love Levi for his "I'm winning" stance but on a purely shallow and gratuitous note?  Daaaaamn, that boy's ass is white! 

Are you loving the new TV comedy Cougar Town? Late-night comic Jimmy Kimmel alerts to the spinoff we never knew we needed:

And finally, I'm sorry to report that you need to stop hugging.  At least not with that nasty genital-area-touching style of hugging. One Christian teen rap group (a phrase I'll never tire of giggling at) has your Brand New Huggz Stylee or whatever the kids are calling it these days:

 
Thanks, boyz!

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