David Menzies opens mouth, inserts foot

A couple days ago, I made a joke about how Sun TV’s David Menzies was added to Rob Ford’s radio show as a way of making Rob seem rational and caring by comparison. And oh, how we laughed and laughed, because stretching reality to humorously absurd lengths is how jokes work! Guffaw and such!

Turns out, I might have actually been right, because David Menzies is currently Twitter’s public enemy #1, after he wrote a deliriously wrongheaded article on The Huffington Post about how the Toronto Maple Leafs’ Brian Burke is embracing anti-bullying measures only as a way of buying himself some good PR. You know, because it has nothing to do with him losing a gay son or just wanting to better himself as a human being. Nope, entirely utilitarian.

However, when it comes to optics, a sure-fire way to get an image makeover is by latching on to a gay cause. And it seems to be working for Burke, who is being roundly applauded for his feel-good initiative — even though I’m unaware of a scintilla of evidence that any professional or amateur hockey player has ever been discriminated against or targeted due to his sexual orientation.

So, what gives?

Yes, because when people want to do a little philanthropy, they can only help people directly associated with them. Remember all those people who donated time and effort to help repare Haiti after it was hit by a tsunami back in 2010? What a bunch of douchebags! Don’t they know you don’t have to help people you don’t know?

For the most part, those who see utilitarian or otherwise unseemly motives behind good works are usually the ones who are either not doing any good works themselves or otherwise are just looking for utilitarian motives. Wearing your own misinformation and ignorance proudly on your sleeve doesn’t make you an “independent thinker” or a “real-talker,” it just makes you a moron.

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