Opinion
2 min

Deep Dish: May 21, 2014

Rolyn parties with underwear and fit

Sean, Ryan & Adam Credit: Rolyn Chambers

Addiction Apparel Underwear launch

Thurs, May 15 @ Erotico

Like a swarm of rabid twinks, they move like hungry locusts, covering everything in their path with lip-gloss and scented body lotion. It isn’t quite like this at Erotico lounge, but the launch party for Addiction Apparel’s new underwear line does bring out large numbers of frisky bottom boys. Most are here modelling the new line. Others are here admiring it, while (surprise, surprise) a large contingency of older gentlemen is here admiring the boys modelling the underwear, as well as the boys admiring the underwear. With a stripper pole overlooking Flash nightclub it only makes sense that an amateur pole-dancing contest takes place amidst performances by Barbie Jo Bontemps, Naomi Campbellsoup and a gaggle of newbie queens. Seen critiquing and admiring the underwear and underwear-ers are Xtra columnist Ryan G Hinds, InToronto’s Michael Pihach, Pink Pages Antoine Elhashem, Bent Boys porn company’s Brandon Bent, along with Jade Elektra, Devine Darlin, Jada Hudson and the newly published Joey Wargachuk. Founded by cute young thing Nick Banerd, Addiction is billed as “Toronto’s first gay-tailored swim and underwear line.” He’s young, so I’ll forgive him for not realizing Toronto’s already had at least one. Body Body had a shop right on Church Street and created not only its own line of underwear and swimwear, but clothing as well, all tailored to the stereotypical gay-gym-body form. A word to the young: marketing yourself to less than 10 percent of the population might be considered target marketing (Addiction’s website is foryourbottom.com), or it might just be seen as foolish. Think bigger. If it’s good for the gays, everyone else will follow. Like a swarm.                                            

Fit Fourth Anniversary 

Sat, May 17 @ The Beaver

Like a herd of burly beef, they move like migrating cattle searching for new grazing grounds, covering everything in their path with the scent of Old Spice deodorant and after-last-call poutine. Okay, so it’s not quite like this at The Beaver, but Fit’s fourth anniversary party does bring out a manly selection of fresh-smelling, well-fed fellas. Unfortunately, the weather isn’t suited to the slutty anniversary-party outfit I’d planned to wear as a present to everyone. You’re welcome? This was also the case last year. The much-anticipated gay-grotto, kiddie-pool party on the back patio was a breezy bust. “No one got in,” DJ Phil V sighs. “It was too cold.” No one wants to see his wiener shrink. Especially in spandex. Instead, we dance to Phil and DJ Kris Steves’s interesting interpretation of popular songs from our distant past. Who knew there was a hi-energy remix of Dolly Parton’s “Nine to Five”? “I love that some guys wear sport stuff to this party,” Brandon, an out-of-towner tells me. He’s not from here, so I’ll forgive him for not knowing that there was another sports-themed party, called Sporty Boys, which took place right here in this very space several years ago. A word to those who show up: there are not enough men in slutty sports gear. We want to see big baskets on basketballers, wrestlers doubling in size in their singlets, diving boards in water-polo-player Speedos, jockless rugby players and baseball players pitching. Think bigger. If it’s good, everyone will follow. Like a herd.