Opinion
2 min

Deep Dish Toronto

Rolyn visits Asian Xpress, Sodom’s Vampire Love Ball and the Husbands vs Bachelors Bouquet Face-Off

Kayla, Jay & Aaron at Ax. Credit: Rolyn Chambers

AX CHNY
Sat, Feb 1 @ The Courthouse

When your party is just a bit wild, like bucking bronco wild, security is hired to man the stage to protect go-go dancers from being rushed and groped by over-excited guests. This is the case at the AX CHNY party at the Courthouse. As DJ Alex spins onstage, dancer Chico teases the crowd unfairly with his hot body, porno-pumping crotch thrusts and devilish tongue lick. It’s only natural that the beast is unleashed and we succumb to our primal desires. It’s his fault really. But is this like blaming the victim? Well, if the “victim” weren’t half naked and shoving his thinly contained package in our wanting faces, we wouldn’t have to ask this question at all. Thankfully, Sofonda takes to the stage with her dancers, Gerry King and Paul Charbonneau, to cool things off with a performance that begins very Cirque du Soleil and ends very Sasha Fierce. But not all the action is taking place on the stage. Take the threesome that is performing an impromptu drunken softcore-porn scene on the couches. Beer bottles and glasses go flying off the tables as legs spread wide and hands go deep. Maybe there’s a fortune cookie down there?

Sodom: Vampire Love Ball
Sat, Feb 15 @ Club120

When sexy Torontonian Tristin Chanel appears as Tara from TV’s True Blood on your Vampire Love Ball posters, some of the hottest women this side of Bon Temps, Louisiana, are bound to come a sniffin’. This is the scene at Sodom and what is unique about this party. It attracts such a wide range of sodomites: twinks, beefy bears, muscle boys, trans guys and gals and tonight, a big spoonful of luscious lesbians. Almost as incredible is the (always epic) 1am show. Starring Sapphire Tithi-Reign, as a wonderfully wicked Pam; dancer Sebber Hirtenstein, as Eric the vampire, whose choreography killed; Andrew Wilson, as kookie Sookie; Eva Destruction, as Jessica; Allysin Chaynes, as a Tammy Faye Baker religious wingnut god-warrior; plus an incredible host of others. Adding to the visual overload is the over-the-top six-feet-under décor, including a recreation of Merlotte's restaurant, blood-splattered walls, faux-stained-glass windows, bottles of Tru Blood and Polo Izquierdo’s Fangtasia dungeon. It’s here that things get downright primal. Humping, grinding, biting. If blood isn’t spilled here tonight, other bodily fluids will be.

Husbands vs Bachelors Bouquet Face-Off
Tues, Feb 12 @ The Perry Presentation Gallery

When your bouquet is bountiful, you can get some of Toronto’s guys to arrange it for you. Organized by the Mansouri sisters, Husbands vs Bachelors Bouquet Face-Off, hosted and judged by socialite Ainsley Kerr and held in a Yorkville showroom, is overflowing. Some single, some attached, and all local celebs in their own right, the eight men are asked to create a floral bouquet, which is then auctioned off for Rethink Breast Cancer. Included in the green-thumbed lineup are model/designer Jano Badovinac, TV personality Glen Baxter and one of my favourite fashion designers, Lucian Matis. Lucian, happily off the market again, is modest as he poses by his creation. “I didn’t really make it,” he says. “I came up with the design and worked with a florist.” Lily-white Glen, meanwhile, shows me his blossoming rose. “I wanted it to be simple, clean and fresh,” he explains, of his use of white roses and curvy wooden accents. Look for Glen to branch out from fashion as he embarks on a new journey opening an upscale bar sometime this year. All bouquets are in a healthy battle for top bid, but the leader seems to be Zark Fatah. All lovely, indeed, but I’m looking for tulips.