Toronto Diary
1 min

Don’t walk away, Irene

A Sam Roberts reference? Anyone? Fuck it! We both went to the same a-hole high school, so I’m keeping it in there.

Anyway, just in case you missed it (and honestly, how could you? It’s pretty much the only thing anyone will talk about), Hurricane Irene is working her way up the East Coast and fucking shit up in a most tragic way. The media absolutely goddamn loves it. I swear to God, if the a-holes at Fox had their way, everything would be on fire all the time. Thank God we have laws in place in Canada that outlaw crazy people being on the news.

The good news is that Irene is juuuuuust going to miss us, but the bad news is that we’re still gonna get one helluva storm. Some parts of TO are under tornado watch, which is, you know, awesome. One thing I really am excited about is that you just know a crazy religious douchebag is going to eventually come out and start saying that hurricanes are God’s punishment for gays, which, come to think of it, doesn’t really explain why all the major storms keep hitting the Bible Belt.

Although, it does open up the interesting theory that gay people control the weather, like Halle Berry does in the one and only good superhero movie she has ever made. Regardless of how apathetic you are about religion, that would be AMAZING. 

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