Toronto Diary
1 min

Doug Ford is five years old, apparently

Hey, remember how Rob Ford tried to cut spending for HIV/AIDS programs and tried to axe funding for, like, pretty much every worthwhile cause currently receiving some of Ford’s precious, precious gravy?

Well, keep that in mind while Doug Ford is trying to build a multimillion-dollar monorail, Ferris wheel, hotel and mall complex. Okay, first off: have you never seen that episode of The Simpsons? Monorails do not work. Conan O’Brien said so. Second, how in the hell can you justify spending shitloads of money on all this when you won’t even fork over money to help stop the spread of HIV/AIDS? What bass-ackwards universe are we in where Ferris wheels > AIDS?

Oh, and because the Fords are literally just handing me the setups for fat jokes on a silver platter, Doug allegedly mumbled something about how this was all okay because there would be ice cream at his waterfront monopoly clusterfuck, because when in doubt, the Fords always turn to food. See how easy it is? It’s like shooting fish in a barrel. And the barrel is full of Jell-O. 

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