Toronto Diary
38 min

Drinkify me, captain!

As we all know, booze and music go together like chocolate and peanut butter, or Bert and Ernie, or Jennifer Connelly and a double-sided dildo in Requiem for a Dream. Now, a new website called Drinkify has gone the extra step and will tell you what you should drink while listening to your favourite artist. For shits and giggles, I threw my iPod on shuffle, and here are 10 musician-drink pairings to show you how it works:

Lana Del Rey

  • 4 oz Fernet
  • 4 oz coconut milk
  • Verdict – Sweet. A little too sweet.
Antony and the Johnsons
  • 4 oz vodka
  • 4 oz cough
  • 6 oz “rum, fucking rum"
  • Verdict – The room is spinning.
Neko Case
  • 8 oz moonshine
  • 8 oz cranberry juice
  • Verdict – Burns so fucking good.
Liz Phair
  • 12 oz moonshine
  • Verdict – GYAAAAAAAAAAAAH.
Robyn
  • 4 oz vodka
  • Verdict – That is slightly better. Slightly.

Metric

  • 8 oz vodka
  • Verdict – These aren’t even drinks! This site is trying to fucking kill me! 
The Go! Team
  • 8 oz rum
  • Verdict – Once again: that is not called a cocktail. That is called “problem alcoholism."
Modest Mouse
  • PBR
  • Verdict – Oh thank God. I don’t even care that PBR is basically just foot sweat drunk ironically by emotionally draining hipsters. I’m just thankful it’s not trying to Amy Winehouse me to death for once. 
Spinnerette
  • 8 oz marijuana
  • 8 oz ice cream
  • Verdict – What the . . . What the fucking fuck is this? That’s not even liquid! Now it’s just telling me to get high and eat ice cream!
Feist
  • 8 oz microbrew
  • 8 oz Tabasco sauce
  • 10 oz cream
  • Verdict – Drinkify can fuck its own mother. 

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