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Everybody cut! Everybody cut!

People ask me all the time: "Hey Sparky, what have you got against Zac Efron? That is one fine lookin' boy!"

Well, I suppose I've got three solid reasons, all of them containing the words 'High,' 'School' and 'Musical,' but what really puts Efron on notice for me is the news that he's starring in and has script approval(!!!) on a remake of "Footloose." Just the thought of him dancing to a Miley Cyrus cover of "Let's Hear It For the Boy" makes me weep for the future.

It's kind of like watching these California children who've been taught an anti-gay-marriage song. I warn you now — in the days before Halloween, this may be the most horrifying thing you'll see all week:

Wow.  I'm so appalled by that that I'm hereby hijacking this Canadian blog and adding it to the hundreds of American ones that'll be taking part in an Internet protest today:

Click on the image and you can feel the trembling from California, can't you?  It's not an earthquake!

Oh well, it's a start — not quite as big as Barack Obama's 30-minute infomercial airing tonight at 8pm on NBC, CBS, Fox, MSNBC and BET (but will it feature his groovy speech remix?). If that doesn't seem like such a big deal, remember: the last black man to get that much TV coverage was OJ Simpson!

Brian Grazer, producer of the upcoming "Da Vinci Code" sequel, really knows how to get bums in seats. In talking about star Tom Hanks, he says, "I'm telling you, he's got a scene where he's swimming in Speedos, and
he looks fantastic." Brian, I might have to just take your word for that.

And finally, I was asked to post a classic bit of satire: "Gay Scientists Isolate Christian Gene." It's snark at its finest!