There are three rules that every female starlet must adhere to if she hopes to make it in the business:
- You need to blow LA Reid. Cannot stress this one enough. He cums recording contracts.
- You will inevitably be compared to Madonna. It’s the only reason we keep her around. So we can compare people to her. That’s the only thing she’s good for at this point.
- If someone sticks a camera or microphone in front of you, you MUST talk about another female artist. Because the credentials of all female artists are based on other female artists.
And with that in mind, here’s a supercut via Rich Juzwiak at FourFour featuring famous women reading each other into the fucking dirt. And as we all know, everything’s more fun when celebrities do it. The best part is that it totally validates my theory that Céline Dion is an insane, evil genius. No, really. Céline Dion may be my spirit animal.