Father’s will forces gay son to marry a woman for his inheritance

Another day, another story of small-minded parents completely and totally failing at parenting. It’s like clockwork, I swear . . .

All right, let’s get on with this fakakta fucking nonsense. Frank Mandelbaum, a man who was apparently crazy rich and rich in crazy, passed back in 2007, and as one final, colossal middle-finger to his son, stated in his will that if his son wants his inheritance, he has to marry a woman and conceive a child with her. Normally, shot-gunning a wedding for the money would already be morally reprehensible on numerous levels, except it turns out the son in question is also gay. Yeah, it takes a lot to make arranged cash-grab marriages seem even more crass and inhumane, but congrats, Mr Mandelbaum! You did it somehow!

Robert Mandelbaum, a Manhattan Criminal Court Judge, married his longtime partner Jonathan O’Donnell just after the birth via surrogate of their 16-month-old son, who, according to the terms of his grandfather’s will, does not have a stake in the $180,000 trust set aside for the Mandelbaum grandkids. Robert is hoping the Manhattan Surrogate’s Court will approve a settlement that dismisses Frank Mandelbaum’s demand as discriminatory and against New York law, since it requires Robert Mandelbaum “to enter into a sham marriage,” and therefore violates a state law aimed at promoting marriage equality. [via Jezebel]

There’s a whole lot of wrong with this, so let’s try and deconstruct it as plainly as possible, shall we? First, it takes a very special kind of terrible logic to conclude that it would be better for your child to be in a loveless heterosexual marriage that makes him miserable than it would for him to be in a loving homosexual marriage that makes him happy. Second, YOU’RE DEAD. It’s not like you would be around to reap whatever twisted benefits you hope to gain from this.

Once again: it’s not your kids’ job to live up to your expectations; it is your job to love them whether or not they do. Christ, finding someone to love is hard enough. If your kid somehow finds someone he can love and who can love him back and you’re not jumping for joy, your parenting is bad and you should feel bad.

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