Toronto Diary
1 min

Fine. You want sparkly dicks?

I’d like to think that my audience is smart and sophisticated. Hell, I’d like to think that, by and large, everyone who reads Xtra, not just this blog, is smart and sophisticated. Turns out I was wrong. So very wrong. We’ve just crunched the numbers and found that one of the 10 most-read posts from last month was the one about pejazzling. That’s right. One of the most important stories, according to page views, was about putting sparkly shit on your dong.

You know what? Fine. This is how it’s gonna be, motherfuckers? Okay then. From now on, Toronto Diary is going to be your 24-hour stop for sparkle cock. I will be the Oprah Winfrey of sparkle cock. “YOU get a sparkle cock, and YOU get a sparkle cock! EVERYBODY GETS A SPARKLE COOOOOOOOOOOOOOCK!” Honeybadger don’t care. In fact, here’s one now:

 

In all honesty, thank you for actually reading all of this despite the fact that this blog is written by a college dropout who has absolutely no real overarching plan for it. Yeah, could you tell?  
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