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Five queer-friendly condomTO designs that will unleash your inner freak

Designing a condom wrapper can be hard, but these sexy slogans will rise to the occasion

In celebration of the condomTO contest, here’s a list of slogans to make unwrapping a condom a sexy experience (if unwrapping can even be sexy). Credit: Francesca Roh/Daily Xtra

Toronto Public Health’s condomTO contest has once again come to town and is looking for the best condom wrapper designs from Torontonians. The condom judges have already selected the top 10 best wrapper designs.

While Daily Xtra didn’t enter the contest, (performance anxiety, perhaps?) we’ve got a few Toronto-inspired slogans to get everyone in the mood for safe sex. 

A sexual innuendo involving the TTC

Francesca Roh/Daily Xtra

Witty, consent-oriented, and pretty damn accurate, because we all know what it’s like to be screwed by the TTC.

“Do not charge the backdoors. I repeat, do not charge the backdoors.”

A Rob Ford-infused attempt at foreplay

Francesca Roh/Daily Xtra

Perhaps in poor taste, but safe butt play ain’t no joke. While PrEP is a great option for men who have sex with men (MSM) and have access to the pill, using condoms in addition to PrEP is the best way to protect yourself from HIV long term.

Wear protection before handling balls.

A satirical sexual reimagining of Pride 2016’s theme 

Francesca Roh/Daily Xtra

At this year’s Pride, it was obvious that not everyone was welcome to the party. Folks accused Pride of being most unwelcoming and unsupportive of queer and trans people of colour, those with various abilities and Black Lives Matter. The condom wrapper is designed to get you in the true spirit of Pride, encouraging you to always be awesome and respectful — towards others and during sexy time.

Get your freak on, somewhere over the rainbow.

A Drake-inspired design because Drake 

Francesca Roh/Daily Xtra

An ode to the 6ix God himself, this design appeals to your sexual ego. Walk into Crews and Tangos or Fly 2.0 ready to cruise and schmooze knowing that Drake’s got your fine-ass back. (You may not like Drake at all, but let’s get real — you knew this one was . . . coming.)

Wrap up before making your hotline bling.

An ode to Drag Race fans everywhere 

Francesca Roh/Daily Xtra

An ode to the Queen of Snakes herself, Alaska Thunderfuck. The winner of RuPaul’s Drag Race: All Stars 2, this design, featuring a pretty little snake, will make you want to ssssslither into sexy time like the sly serpent you are.

Don’t be a snake — cover up!