Identity Politics
1 min

Future of Gay

The Advocate held a poll on Facebook, asking their readers where they think the LGBT community will be in 45 years in the year 2057. Unsurprisingly, the future consists of a lesbian President of the United States, and robo-porn. 

A lesbian in the White House — with her first lady

By then we hope we’ll have had an openly gay president. Many think it will be a lesbian who will finally put our economy in order, stop the wars, and fight for equal pay and health insurance for all, regardless of gender or color or shape. Someone hoped for comedian Kate Clinton to be in the Oval Office taking life by the balls (figuratively speaking), but that might take another miracle—the old girl will be 110 that year. 

 

Bisexuals finally get respect.

It may take a lesbian in the White House, but finally bisexuality will be embraced by the masses. No more “you’re either gay or you’re straight,” and even some different family structures (threesomes, anyone?) will become normal for many Americans.

 

Labels are for aliens and zombies, not people.

Labels will be so over — for people at least. Everyone will be too busy fighting zombies and aliens to worry about different sexualities or gender identities.

 

Hologram hair.

No more debate over fauxhawks and mullets; the future will bring hair that adjusts to your mood and to overpasses.

  

Robot porn.

C’mon, you know you want it. 

I’m definitely in agreement that the U.S. needs a lesbian in the White House ASAP. If Suzy Orman can’t get the economy back on track, no one will. I’m also on board for the rise of the bisexuals, and the end of labels. . . oh wait, that’s a total contradiction, isn’t it? I’m also not sure what Hologram hair has to do with homosexuality, other than the fact that if it exists, gays in 2057 are probably going to be walking around with unicorn manes. 

The future looks beautiful, boys:

 
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