Gay porn review: UKNakedMen’s Are You Being Serviced?

Scorching-hot antidote to the no-sex-please-we're-British stereotype


It might have been fun to make a porn film set in Grace Brothers department store, the home of classic ’70s–’80s Britcom Are You Being Served?

Think about it: Captain Peacock taking Mr Humphries into the dressing room to measure his inside leg… those animated mannequins coming to life after lights out. None of Mrs Slocombe’s pussy jokes though, please.

Alas, Are You Being Serviced? only uses the title, not the premise. But it’s still a lot of fun.

This collection includes six scenes from the UKNakedMen.com web-porn site, all on a “service industry” theme. It also includes numerous men who deserve much more attention than they’ve received on this side of the Atlantic so far.

Matt Hughes has conquered the UK porn world like no other. The mostly straight but happy-to-please cutie’s sweet face belies a dick that would drive even the most jaded size-queen insane. Seriously, just wait till you see it. You’ll drop to your knees and salivate like Pavlov’s dog, I promise.

He stars here as the good old-fashioned English milkman, delivering pints of creamy goodness to your door every morning.

At hunky, hairy Ross Hurston’s home, however, he knows he can get a lot more than a smile and a how-do-you-do. Ross wastes no time with words, diving down to throat that ginormous uncut fucker like I’ve never seen anyone else manage.

Every British gay boy knows and worships this donkey-dicked sweetheart — Ross certainly does — and it’s high time we did too.

But Matt’s not the only sex god bursting out of his overalls in this collection. Kurt Rogers is a skinheaded, versatile South African stud who can lick his own dick. He plays a well-dressed chauffeur offering a nervous bridegroom a good way to relax.

At the office, model-handsome Harry Louis takes his executive assistant duties very seriously. His slam-fucking threeway with the boss makes inventive use of a glass floor for some amazing camera angles.

It’s also nice to see power-bottom Dean Monroe back on screen after too long an absence, as a hotel guest demanding that special kind of room service.

And there’s plenty more where that came from. UKNakedMen.com is the perfect, scorching-hot antidote to the no-sex-please-we’re-British stereotype. The whole thing was shot in HD, so even though the scenes were made as direct-to-web, every glistening vein and pearly drop is crystal clear.

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Love & Sex, Arts, Vancouver

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