Greek Cypriot Bishop Neophytos Masouras of Morphou Credit: Osman Orsal/The Associated Press, Francesca Roh/Xtra
2 min

Greek bishop claims he could smell homosexuality

Some people’s senses are out of this world

Some religious figurines really need to find a new hobby other than hating on LGBTQ2 people who, tbh, are just living their lives and minding their own business.

Take, for example, Greek Orthodox church leader, bishop Neophytos Masouras of Morphou (a town in Cyprus), who popped out of nowhere to spew bizarre claims about gay people. And since it’s 2019, these claims were captured on video that obviously went viral (because people love to share disasters).

The video was filmed during Masouras’ speech at a primary school in Akaki Nicosia District in Cyprus. In it, Masouras looks very earnest as he proclaimed that gay people are products of anal sex during pregnancy (we know, wild) and that “holy men,” such as himself, have the ability to smell gayness (that’s some talent, but also, wilder).

While speaking to the crowd, Masouras explained gay people’s origin story: “It follows an abnormal sexual act between the parents. To be more clear, anal sex [ . . . ] Saint Porphyrios says that when the woman likes that, a desire is born, and then the desire is passed on to the child.” 👀

But wait, there’s more. In the same speech, Masouras told a story of a “very handsome young man” and a “holy monk”— and no, this is not an adult film storyline — to prove holy men like himself can “smell” gay people.

Here’s a TL;DR version of the story: The monk saw the very handsome young man and was like, “hey handsome man, stop what you’re doing!” Confused, the very handsome young man asked the monk: “Who me? Also, who dis?” The monk, according to Masouras, said, “Young man I need to tell you. Stop what you’re doing.” Shook, the young man asked the monk what he meant.

The monk, who’s seriously nosy af, responded: “This sleeping around. You’ll catch something, a disease, and die young. You should repent. There is joy in repenting.” The man then allegedly felt seen and asked: “How do you know what I’ve been doing?” The monk answered: “As you walked by me, you had a nasty smell. These acts you’re doing, laying with men have a specific stink which I recognize . . . This is how holy men receive information from God.”

First of all, why is the monk so rude? Stink? Also, we need facts, is the very handsome young man really gay or is it summer? 😶

Masouras ended the story by telling the audience that the young man was helped by his family through “prayers and stopped his acts” and in turn, now “smells wonderful.” Who needs deodorant if you can just pray the stink away? 

After the speech garnered attention, Masouras defended his comments saying, “I expressed the position of the Church and the position of the saints.”

And honestly bishop, this is a Wendy’s. 🤷