Toronto Diary
1 min

Happy fifth anniversary, Goodhandy’s!

That's right. Today, Goodhandy's celebrates its fifth birthday! Ironically, that means it's not even old enough to drink yet. Unless you're from the South. They bottle-feed with Everclear down there.

Anyway, in honour of this glorious day, let's take a look at Goodhandy's by the numbers, shall we?

Age of Goodhandy's: five.

Age of Mandy Goodhandy: 20 something.

Age of Mandy's tits: eight.

Average number of abs per bartender: five.

Average number of drinks it takes a patron to get super shitty: two and a half.

Number of movie references Todd Klinck will understand in his lifetime: zero (but only because it's impossible to go into negative integers).

Number of annoying hipsters per night who ask, "Isn't this the club from Scott Pilgrim?": three.

Number of people who've had sex in the diamond rooms: 14,284,961. (Never walk up there barefoot. You will get pregnant.)

Famous person who may or may not but probably didn't unless they did have gay sex in the diamond room: not Tom Cruise.

So, happy birthday, Goodhandy's! And here's to five more years of proving that Toronto is the single most slutty city ever. 

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