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Homofication: Tom Cruise…AND KATIE HOLMES???

Back by popular demand, it's going to be Homofication all week long folks. Reminder: homofication is projecting homosexuality on heterosexuals. Something we all love to do.

I've been waiting for this photo for a long time. Fitting that it came along in Movember:

Look at that moustache! Clearly, Katie Holmes is a homosexual man!

Now take a closer look…see how Tom Kat are even dressing alike? DELISH!

My print column hits the streets today. For those of you not in Van, here's a snapshot of this year's scene:

Cocked & Loaded

Well, I’m glad Halloween has come and gone because if I see one more person dressed up as a vampire or gladiator, I am going to have to gouge out both my eyeballs with a sharp pencil and wear symbolic red eye patches to teach the world a lesson about uncreative costumes.

Lest ye forget: Halloween is the costume lover’s holiday and for those of us who love dressing up, this is the one time of year where you REALLY have to pull out all the stops.

I mean, come on…a vampire? A gladiator? Get REAL! Come visit me at the Xtra offices and I’ll help you out with your costume for next year by writing YOU’RE BORING on your forehead in permanent black pen.

Now that I’ve got that out of the way, let’s talk about this year’s Hall of Fame.

It turns out that local pop star Peter Breeze could teach a crash course of Halloween 101 for the costume-impaired. He showed up at Junction’s Little Shop of Horrors party dressed as a giant bag of cocaine— complete with oversized novelty straw—and proceeded to let party goers take turns snorting him.

That, my friends, is a type of genius that few can claim to own and is evidence of two things in my mind:

  1. That Peter Breeze is an addictive pairing of vision and whimsy (I just said whimsy…yeah I did) and we are lucky to have him in Vancouver.
  2. That the big DJ parties at Junction (formerly Pulse, formerly Majestic) are the best of their kind in Vancouver and despite having to see a bat-shit crazy ex every time I go to one, I always have a great time.

Check out Peter’s costume on his Facebook page. You won’t regret it.

Now. Xtra West assigned me to a club crawl on Halloween and I would like to personally thank everyone who dressed up as Jesus. You made my night, particularly Buff Jesus and Hipster Jesus at 1181 Tight Lounge. You were sacrilicious and you know it!

Celebrities definitely had the hottest male angel on the strip. I also have never been groped like I was groped at Pumpjack. Apparently wearing yellow spandex and a giant Pac Man head is as an open invitation to inappropriate butt touching. Who knew.

If I have one final piece of Halloween advice, it’s that the Davie strip is a guaranteed good time, so remember that next year. And when in you’re in doubt over a costume choice and someone asks you what you’re dressing up as for Halloween, “slutty” is always a good answer.

For those of you who haven’t heard, it’s Movember this month. A number of guys I know are growing moustaches to raise money for prostate cancer research, including DJ Dreaddy. I’m going to be growing one and if you are interested in making a donation to support either DJ Dreaddy or I in our moustache growing efforts, please contact me at vancouvergayblog@gmail.com.

If you’ve got the post-Halloweener blues or intend to detox (like yours truly), check out the following:

 

Every Tuesday throughout the month of November, Pacific Cinemateque will be showing double bills of dance films. Shows are at 6:30 and 9:30 pm and the Razzle Dazzle Dance Film Series will include: Fame and Flashdance (TUE NOV 10); Cabaret and Chicago (TUE NOV 17); Dirty Dancing and Hairspray (TUE NOV 24).

 

There are also two big fundraisers coming up over the next two weeks.

Prairie Fairies Fowl Supper on SAT NOV 7 supports A Loving Spoonful. Tickets are already sold out, though some are available through the Ticket Swap menu at http://www.fillmorefamily.ca/fowl.html.

Art for Life on SAT NOV 14 supports Friends for Life. There will be a gala dinner, reception and art auction benefits. Tickets and the art collection can be viewed at www.artforlife.net. 

 

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