5 min

How I learned to bottom as an anonymous manhole

A top’s curiosity about receiving wins out

Bottoming didn’t come naturally to Kevin Moroso, until one blindfolded weekend spent kneeling on his bed. Credit: Shimon Karmel/Daily Xtra

I kneeled at the edge of my bed, on all fours, feeling totally exposed, completely naked in anticipation.

As I heard the door open, I slipped my phone under my pillow and pulled the blindfold down over my eyes.

I heard the door shut, then the sound of him taking off his shoes. My cock immediately stiffened.

I heard him walk down the hall towards my bedroom. “Mmmmm,” he said, walking in.

I felt his hand start to caress my bare ass, which just made my cock throb and bounce. His belt clanged as he undid his pants. They fell to the floor.

I felt his shaft rub up against my hole as he spread my cheeks. I heard him grab the lube and squirt it. His slippery fingers rubbed my hole.

He pushed his cock head up against my hole and began fucking me. After no more than two minutes, his groaning turned into one loud grunt and I could feel him explode inside me. He held inside, slowly working his way in and out until he pulled all the way out.

I remained kneeling as he got dressed. I heard him walk back the way he came in and put on his shoes. I heard the door open and shut. I got off my bed and stood up, pulled the blindfold off and put it next to the bed. I put my robe on and went back to watching Downton Abbey.

I’ll never know who that was. Nor will I know who the other 14 guys were, who came to my apartment that weekend. I’m a cum dump. An anonymous cum dump.

If you’ve read my column over the last little while, you probably figured out I was a top. Once I finally dispensed with condoms, topping came quite naturally. It certainly took some trial and error to figure out how to become a great top, but I learned pretty quickly. I have to admit, I was quite flattered when someone left the following comment on my Xtube page: “Attention: All tops, this is how you fuck.

But I still felt like I was missing out on something. I was certainly missing out on having sex with all the guys who were tops — and I hate missing out on sex with a hot guy.

But bottoming didn’t come naturally. It usually felt uncomfortable, required so much preparation, and required giving up a certain amount of control. I would try it every few months — first with a friend, then with a crush, and a couple of times with fuck buds that I usually topped. But I was always so goddamn nervous about bottoming. It seemed like a lot of effort for little reward.

Eventually, my bottoming became more frequent, usually in situations where I was supposed to be the top, but things just didn’t turn out that way.

So I finally decided I needed to get over this.

I had topped several anonymous cum dumps — guys who sit on their bed on all fours and leave the door unlocked so you can let yourself in, drop your load and leave. These guys were usually, but not always, high on some sort of drug. Yet I envied them: the ability to get fucked and receive the seed of so many men in a short period of time.

I was also very curious about what they got out of it, especially since they never even looked at or talked to the guy fucking them.

I decided it was my turn. I wanted to be a cum dump and a full-on bottom.

I put up two ads, one on Craigslist and another on BBRT: “Anon cum dump. I’ll be ass up in bed on all fours blindfolded. I’ll buzz you in, you let yourself in and come to the bedroom, lube next to the bed, drop your load in me and go.” The game was set.

I prepared myself well. I didn’t have dinner the night before. I douched thoroughly — I mean, really thoroughly, past the water coming out clean. I drank Coca-Cola to make sure I was alert and awake, but no coffee that could act as a diuretic. I didn’t use any drugs, not even poppers.

I hid any valuables. I got out the blindfold that I usually use on guys in BDSM scenes. I prelubed my hole a bit with some boy butter. I stripped the duvet off my bed and put a towel down. I put some wet wipes next to the bed for guys to clean their cocks off with afterwards. I arranged a safety protocol with a friend: I was to contact him every two hours to say I was okay and, if I didn’t get in touch and I didn’t respond to his messages after 30 minutes, he was to come straight over.

I booked an appointment with the Health Initiative for Men for a week later so I could get tested for gonorrhea, chlamydia, and syphilis.

The messages started to come in and I took notes as to who was coming over when to ensure I didn’t end up with two guys over at the same time. As I awaited my first load, I was both excited and nervous — could I pull this off?

My phone rang and I buzzed the first guy up.

Most of the fucking was much like the first, though one guy couldn’t get hard enough, unfortunately. He tried for about 10 minutes before giving up.

Another guy who came over was superb. He’d obviously done this before and seemed to know what I’d enjoy more than I did.

He made me get all the way onto my bed instead of just kneeling at the edge. He pushed my head down and began fucking me. He began saying things like “you’re my little slut boy” and “I own your hole” which just made me harder. He fucked me for about five minutes before coming, and then he just lay there on top of me, still hard inside of me, holding me, cuddling me. But he didn’t go soft. He started fucking me again and after five minutes he came a second time.

The final guy of the weekend was an experience I’d never had. He began fucking me much like every other guy had. But then I started to panic. I suddenly felt very full in my intestines and had the urge to take a shit. Oh my god, I was about to experience every bottom’s nightmare.

Then he exclaimed, “this is so hot!” and I realized what was going on. I didn’t need to take a shit. I was so full of cum that it began pouring out. He said it was frothing up all over him and at that moment, he came.

After he left, I’d had enough. 15 guys had fucked me. I had not only bottomed, I had lived nearly every bottom’s dream. I felt immensely proud of myself and incredibly sexy. I finally understood what all those anon cum dumps got out of it.

I’d never felt like a particularly sexy guy. Sure, my face is decent and guys love the beard I’ve been growing for a while. But despite years of going to the gym off and on, my body never toned up. But here I was having my ass worshipped. I was just a sexual object to them. None of this relied on my personality or my intelligence; it was just my body they wanted. That made me feel sexy.

The quicker they came, the better. I wasn’t there for an amazing intimate connection. I just wanted them to use my body to get off. And knowing that their DNA — the seed of 15 guys — was in me just turned me on more.

This was the first but not the last time I did this. I’ve tried it again from time to time, but the adrenaline rush I got that first time has never been as strong.

I got tested a week after my first time and tested positive for rectal gonorrhea — the first time I’d ever had it in my rectum. And frankly, it didn’t phase me in the slightest. I took the pills and felt nauseous for a few hours. A small price to pay.

I’ve returned to mostly topping. I feel more natural being dominant. But once in awhile, I still feel the urge to be used — to be that sex object whose ass gets worshipped.