The life of a gay porn columnist is full of contrasts: endless manila envelopes from porn companies and nary a single online reader comment, red-carpet adult film premieres and late-night hours alone in front of my laptop.
Seeking plurality of opinion, I asked my best friend to assist me with this month’s column, specifically on the topic of William Higgins’s gonzo line of videos. In the videos, an unseen cameraman randomly approaches people under the guise of conducting a survey, then offers them “a money” for varying levels of participation in a street hunting scene featuring European Mirek Hodbod.
We sought resolution to the question, “What the fuck is going on here?”
Andrew: What is going on here appears to be an early-20s, Czech plant in a park waiting to have his ass pounded.
Graeme: Whoa, whoa, whoa. First of all, that’s racist. I agree, he was a plant.
Andrew: The first encounters add credibility to the scene, given the lukewarm reactions of the solicited pedestrians.
Graeme: The reactions were like you might expect — indifferent to irritated.
Andrew: Until a slender, brown-haired, survey participant has his interest piqued by the initial offer of money, and later, significantly more than just his interest.
Graeme: Yes, I believe he got his ass piqued. (Raised eyebrow) And here, for me, is where I stopped believing. This Hodbod fellow was just a little . . . how do I phrase this?
Andrew: A little more receptive than one might expect?
Graeme: Evidently, Hodbod means eager in Czech.
Andrew: Aesthetically, our model seemed believable, though — wearing underwear, pubic hair, didn’t spring upon first hand-to-dick contact.
Graeme: Though he did get hard as the MCATs later.
Andrew: We also agree the model took the cameraman’s uncut seven-inch cock like a champ.
Graeme: Like they’d met before, yes, and we agree that if a random person were pulled out of a shadowed nook under a tree, we might reasonably expect to see a little more hesitation? Not to mention a gag reflex?
Andrew: Naturally, though I did enjoy the inherent masculinity of the “sword fight” struggle. The victor prevailed, and the vanquished ended up on all fours.
Graeme: I mean, it was enjoyable. I enjoyed it.
Andrew: Given we have little awareness of the meaning of their Czech dialogue, there’s no need to ascertain much about the scene beyond the simple enjoyment of witnessing a fit dude offering himself ass-up in a pile of horse feed.
Graeme: What more can, or need, be said about hay-cushioned sodomy, really?
Andrew: Nary a thing.