To any and all religious conservatives who might be reading this (oh, who am I kidding? It's a gay blog — of course they're reading it! They're obsessed with us!):
I've been picking on you for quite some time, hoping to marginalize your hateful rhetoric towards the gay community, but today I see that I should cut you some slack.
Yes, that is some sexy, sexy mocking right there…
What? Right…where was I? Oh yes…my apology! You see, I understand now how hurt you must feel at losing the culture war you declared on us — even Marie Osmond has gone skipping over the salt plains of sin:
You've even lost the hearts and minds of straight guys in Iowa. Seriously! Straight guys in Iowa are on our side — oh, the burning:
So yes, maybe I'll try to leave you alone for a while. It's what I've always said, after all — if you stop screaming about the gays, the gays will stop screaming about you. Do I sound like I'm gloating at your pain? Only because your pain is entirely self-inflicted and besides, this? THIS is gloating (NSFW gloating, even!):
The kids are alright!