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Joe Simpson insists he’s not gay; no one believes him

Rumours are rife that the reason Ashlee and Jessica Simpson's parents, Joe and Tina, are getting divorced is because Joe, a former Baptist minister, likes him some twink hole.

It all started when the National Enquirer reported that Joe was getting it on with 21-year-old wannabe model Bryce Chandler Hill and that Tina had found photos from a "private photo shoot" between Joe and Bryce in their home. Once the story broke it wasn't long before male escort Joey Anderson was dishing about his own liaison with the Simpson patriarch: 

Over the course of two hours or so, we rolled around, kissed and gave each other oral. We’d take breathers and then start up all over again. He seemed to have an insatiable appetite for sex and never really appeared tired. I’m probably not the only one. After being a family man, and a religious one to boot, for all these years, I’m sure he’s out sowing his wild oats with a bunch of boys. Joe has lived a lifetime of deceit regarding his sexuality. Before the dust settles, I wouldn’t be surprised to hear about a lot more guys coming forward.

TMZ is reporting that Joe has been telling friends and confidants that the rumours about his sexuality are "ridiculous" and "not true." TMZ then asked their readers to decide themselves by featuring an "Is Joe Simpson Gay?" voting box with a yes or no option.  

The poll results show that there have been more than 100,000 votes, and 87 percent think that only a gay would match his bleach out with his sweater and shoes. Of course, they're forgetting one very important fact: Joe is southern. He's not wearing that yellow from head to foot because he thinks it's fashionable, but just so that when he dribbles grits all over himself no one notices.