Arts & Entertainment
3 min

Kinky Jesus in Toronto

A talent competition finds a sexy, leather side to our lord and saviour

Good Friday commemorates the day when our lord and savior Jesus Christ was stripped of his clothing, given some wine and nailed to a cross. And now another really kinky thing is going to happen on that day: On Good Friday 2016, The Toronto Sisters of JOY will host its first annual Kinky Jesus Competition.

The Toronto Sisters of JOY (the acronym standing for Jubilant Order of York) is a mission of the San Francisco-based The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. In short, it’s a group of queers of all genders and sexual orientations who get dressed as genderfuck nuns and do good works. And occasionally silly works, like the Kinky Jesus Competition.

Part of the point of the competition is that it’s an homage to the mother house’s annual Hunky Jesus Contest. Since 1989, bronze, buff babes have oiled up and flexed for the title of Hunky Jesus. Taking place each Easter Sunday in California, it’s intended to promote the idea of a God who knows how to laugh.

“We wanted to do something like that, [but] one of our members wanted something more inclusive — that wasn’t just about physical attractiveness,” says Sister Twisted Fister of the Holy Christco, one of The Toronto Sisters. Partnering with the annual Central Canada Drummer Fetish Weekend provided inspiration. “That led us to looking at a more kinky way of doing it.”

The inaugural competition will take place during Drummer’s Friday afternoon event, called Gear’d Up @ The Guard. It’ll be after the previous titleholders — Drummer Matt and Drummerboy Darcy — step down, and the judges and contestants for this year’s Drummer titles are announced.

The partnership with Drummer was forged so as not to compete for attendees over the Easter long weekend. Because Drummer is all about hyper-masculinity, only male-identified people are allowed to compete at the Kinky Jesus Competition.

Central Canada Drummer co-producer Dan Madden explains how an event hosted by a bunch of genderfuck nuns could fit into a weekend all about gruff men. “I think it comes from the idea that leather is really about being who you are — it’s marching to your own drum,” he says. “And The Sisters are similar in that they march to the beat of their own drum — here are quite often burly men with beards and everything dressed up as nuns to do charity work.”

When he’s not co-producing Drummer, Madden is also a member of The Toronto Sisters. In his nun role, he goes by female pronouns and the name Sister Aura-Lee Fixated of the 69th Chakra.  

Each competitor must become his interpretation of a kinky Jesus. With Shahrazad (Ms Leather Toronto 2016) and Sister Twisted hosting, eight or 10 guys will get on stage and show off their kinky Jesus attitudes, costumes (kinky, minimal and “Messiah wear”) and names.

They’ll answer skill testing questions too, competing against each other, game show-style, in round three. A Toronto Sister will have a bag of 30 pieces of silver, and hand them out for each question answered correctly. The person with the most at the end of the round wins. “But if they answer too quickly or they get it wrong, she hands them a metal nail. If you get nailed three times you’re gone to Golgotha — you’re out,” Sister Twisted says.

The three judges — Jeremy Feist (Mr Leather Toronto 2016), Master Tony Palazzo and Daddy Randy (Mr Spearhead 2016) — will choose the winner. “[He] will get crowned with a tiara of thorns, a sash, and a lovely potted Easter lily instead of roses,” she says, with gleeful anticipation. “It should just look terribly silly and stupid.”

The inaugural Kinky Jesus will be expected to occasionally appear in character at The Toronto Sisters’ events. He must,  Sister Twisted says, “represent Toronto and be our savior from the tribulations of vanilla sex.”

(Kinky Jesus Competition
Friday, March 25, 2016, 4pm
Club 120, 120 Church St, Toronto
torontosisters.com
)

(All images courtesy of The Toronto Sisters.)