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Kurt and Blaine fuck; Americans lose what’s left of their minds

Last night’s episode of Glee was called “The First Time,” and Finn (Cory Monteith) popped Rachel’s (Lea Michelle) cherry. I didn’t see the episode, but if Rachel didn’t start doing vocal scales when she orgasmed, then the viewing public was robbed! 

Finn and Rachel weren’t the only two getting it on. Blaine (Darren Criss) fucked Kurt (Chris Colfer), or maybe it was the other way around, I don’t know. Again, I didn’t watch it. But if I had, I still wouldn’t know, because the sex scene wasn’t shown. There was just lots of cuddling and pillow talk afterward, so we really don’t know whose ass was bleeding.

They couldn’t show the scene because rightwing fanatics are freaking the fuck out that gay sex among teenagers is even being suggested. Meanwhile, Glee creator Ryan Murphy is hoping gaping holes will get their prime-time closeup. “Hopefully, I have made it possible for someone on broadcast television to do a rear-entry scene in three years,” he said in an interview on Bravo. “Maybe that will be my legacy.”

It’s pro-butt sex statements like that that have landed Mr Murphy in heaps of trouble for his “gay agenda."

"They are allegedly high school kids. This show already hypersexualizes everything they do,” Dan Gainor, from the Culture and Media Institute, said. Hypersexualizes everything they do? Aren’t the cast of Glee seniors in high school? Seniors in high school who spend their time singing and dancing? Mr Gay-nor needs to wake up and snort some Ritalin, like every other American senior, then go to school and smoke a blunt near the bike rack, then sodomize a freshman in the bathroom, and finally, ditch class to go munch out at McDicks. I hardly think some fag singing show tunes and doing it with his boyfriend for the first time is beyond what is acceptable behaviour for a high school student. In fact, it would be more accurate if said fag was doing those things with an eight-ball in his backpack. 

"This is just the latest example of Ryan Murphy pushing his own pro-gay agenda on the American public,” Mr Gay continued. “This week alone including gay sex and a gay bar. Is this really a high school show or Murphy’s twisted fantasy life?"

Well, I can’t argue that one. A group of misfits singing a Journey number? Twisted is one word for it. 


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