Just because you can leak something ahead of time, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you should. Case in point:
This did not need to see the light of day. Ever.
Ignoring for a moment that it seems as though she’s consciously trying to make the song sound like a rejected Shania Twain track, this isn’t so much a music video as it is Lady Gaga throwing every tired pop culture trope against a wall and seeing what sticks. The result is a muddled mess of mermaids, pedophilic ice-cream-truck drivers and, for some fucking reason, a farm that is never adequately explained. Bitch is pulling a Mimi Imfurst by using every drag trick in the book. It comes across as desperate.
On a completely unrelated note, it’s Madonna’s birthday today. Oh wait, did I say unrelated? I meant the exact opposite of that.