1 min

Madonna is too gay for Russia

Yes, bitch, I’m a crazed Madonna fan. You should’ve seen the tantrum I threw at District 319 last night when I lost a raffle prize for a massive Madonna print. Especially when I found out that the guy who won paid off the organizer . . . Oops, that was supposed to be off the record. I just couldn’t resist. I mean, it’s pretty funny that a bunch of gays were literally deceiving each other for a picture of Madonna. Say what you want about her, she has one of the most faithful followings in the world.

I discovered my sexuality by watching Truth or Dare, and it’s times like during her concerts in St Petersburg that remind me why I was drawn to Madonna in the first place. She has balls. Sometimes they’re shiny like a disco, and sometimes they’re hard as steel.

Despite threats from Russian officials that if she didn’t tone down her concert she’d be fined, or even arrested, she stood her ground during the St Petersburg stops of the MDNA tour. She spoke out on behalf of the jailed members of the punk band Pussy Riot, who were arrested for an “irreverent” performance in a Moscow cathedral, as well as for gay rights. 

Madonna could face fines up to 500,000 rubles, which is almost $16,000.

Gay rights activist Yury Gavrikov thinks Madonna would’ve made a bigger statement by cancelling her St Petersburg shows. “Meeting with the mayor of St Petersburg or breaking out of the Russian tour is a way to attract more attention,” he said. 

I don’t think she should’ve cancelled. Seems like Russians can use all the escapism they can get, and which a Madonna show offers like no other.